The 9 Months Saga
by Topaz989
Summary: The uncut version of what REALLY happened while Bulma was pregnant with Trunks.
1. THE FIRST TRIMESTER!!!!

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### The Nine Months Saga: Prolouge 

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One more year...   
Then the prophecy that strange purple haired stranger will come. I must become a super saijan, thought Vegeta. If Goku can do it. If that sword wielding brat can do it. Then the Great Prince of the Saijans surely can.  
Good thing that woman knows how to increase the power on this thing. But why ain't I a Super Saiyan!?! I am beyond the power level required. I am royalty. How the hell can a third class saiyan surpass I? And why am I so god damn hungry!?!   
A quick peep out of the window. The moon told him that he had been there since this morning.   
"Shit. Why hasn't that woman came down here to tell me it was dinner time!?! I hope she ain't puking again. The bathroom is starting to reek. Oh well, at least the Nameks are gone," he muttered as he began to do some pushups. His muscles bulked under the constant pressure. He nearly killed himself last time he was in here. Awe hell, as long as it gets him to beat Kakorot. What's to worry? He's a Super Saiyan... that's what.   
Vegeta zipped over towards the control panel and began to sup up from 280 to 449... a notch from the machine's limit. His rock hard body sweltered under the pressure placed on it. Then he heard it.  
The earth woman is having another one of her petty gossip sessions. Doesn't she realize with the energy she spends chit chatting, she could've concentrated it to a Dami Kana and vanquish an entire planet!!! She must've gotten back from the doctor. Why is she excited? Hopefully he had cured her morning sickness. Bulma was going to tweak this machine so it can handle more pressure.Wait a sec.... did she say my name? Hmmmmmm...  
Vegeta, walked over towards the side and leaned his ear against its surface. *....You should've seen ChiChi's new dress. I was like.... MY GOD!!! You bought THAT!!... Then she told me that Goku wanted to pick something out for her.....*  
Vegeta cringed as she let out a high pitched laugh. His mind began to wonder who the other person was. He walked out of the Gravity Machine and towards the phone. He carefully picked it up so Bulma would not hear him.  
*....well I hope he or she looks more like you.*  
*Oh I don't know, Marron. I mean, Vegeta is pretty buff and if he would smile once in a while, you would see how handsome he really is. And trust me, he is sooooo great in bed..... hey, what's that growling noise?*  
*I heard it too. Maybe its just my cell phone batteries going low.But you are right, he could be handsome.... if he would smile once in a while. But still, can you imagine a miniature version of Vegeta running around?*  
"WHAT!?!!" he shouted.  
"Vegeta, what are you doing on the phone?" asked Marron.  
"Never mind that, earth woman. I demand you explain when you said 'miniature Vegeta'!!! "   
"Oh Vegeta, I was going to surprise you but you never came back from the Gravity Room. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!! AREN'T YOU EXCITED!!!!....Vegeta.... are you there? Helloooooo.... Vegeta?"  
"You think he fainted?"  
Vegeta's eyes were as wide as saucers as he gently placed the phone back on its holder. Why didn't he see it coming. Yeah sure, he mated with her a few times. But he never image that he would actually impregnate her. He remembered how Bulma told him the first time they mated to use something called protection. He tried it. The thing broke about thirty times before she gave up and agreed to do it au natural. Humans. A saiyan female would've taken a few years before she was able to come close to conception, not including birth of course. Humans, he had been with her for three or four times and already its happened.  
"What do I do?" he muttered. He had created a hybrid. Hybrids were damned back on his planet. Then again.... the Saiyan race is on the danger of being wiped out.... "Hmmm... maybe this won't be as bad as I..... no.... no it can't happen... gah!!Blast it!!!" he shouted. If Bulma and he did have a child, it would be half Saiyan. In order for it to be even more Saiyan it would either have to marry its brother or sister.... or it would have to mate with one of Kakorot's brats. "There is no way in hell.....!!" He growled as the phone rang. "Uhhh, hello?"   
"VEGETA, WHERE ARE YOU? Your dinner is getting really cold."  
Vegeta sighed as he smashes the phone on its holder. He was not in the mood to be in there with her for an hour. But he needed something to eat. The only thing he had were two dozen doughnuts and a few pots of Captain Crunch. Bulma always complained though that he always picked out all the Crunch Berries for himself, but he didn't care.  
Throwing a white drying cloth on his shoulder, he walked out of the gravity room and towards the main room in Capsule Corps. Yeah, he could've flown. Would've saved him about fifteen minutes. But right now, he just wants to do some thinking.   
What does he do now? That question just kept repeating and repeating like some broken record. The word is already spreading about him and Bulma. He was a Saiyan Prince........ who has mated with a human. Humans had no or little ki. They maybe quite clever..... but still it would do no good when a Kamehameha is flying at you at sub-light speeds.  
Maybe he could just leave her? No, that was not moral.... even for him. Saiyans were great warriors but to abandon his own blood and mate is the way of a coward. He's stuck in this mess. He's stuck with it forever. Maybe the baby will die before its delivered? Maybe the doctor was wrong? Maybe.... gah, admit it. You're gonna be a father... of a hybrid, and there ain't nothing you can do to stop it.   
Vegeta slugged his walk to a slow wit pace. He could already see Bulma over at the window, shouting and waving as if they have won a war. Just before Vegeta could open the door, Bulma's mother flings it open.   
"OH VEGETA, CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IT!!! I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!! Ooooo, I'm going to get started right away. What size of shirt do you wear? I want to knit a matching sweater for you, Bulma and the baby to wear on trips. Oh aren't you so excited!! I'm going to brew some fresh tea. Ta-ta!!"  
Vegeta stood there. His mouth was slightly open from the shock. He entered the dining hall, sitting right across from Bulma.  
"Matching sweaters!?! Whatever happened to the traditional taking it out on their first hunt? You humans are pathetic,"he growled.  
"I love you too, Veggie-Chan. Now why don't you finish your turkeys before they become cold.*sigh* I can't wait till the Teletubbie wall paper and matching bed set arrive."  
"Woman, don't you have any regrets!?! You have a hybrid in you. The delivery itself may kill you!!!"  
"Which Teletubbie Pattern should I use. The Red one or the Purple," asked Bulma as she shifted through the catalog.  
"err... the red one. I thing the purple one is gay," he muttered as he took another bite from the turkey's leg.   
Isn't she the least bit worried? I don't want her to die because of me. Chi Chi was a strong woman who's skin was tough enough to hold Kakorot's kid... for a couple of months. Bulma is so delicate. Like a rose petal against the cool wind.... eh... where am I getting all this.... bah, that is what he gets for having a poet write a story.There is no way her body can take the pressure.  
"HOW IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU GONNA POP THAT KID OUT!?!" he shouted as he slammed his fist on the steel table, leaving his prints on there.  
"Oh, don't worry. A few pushes, a few bottles of pain killers and I'll be just fine." "YOU IDIOT!!! My mother died from giving birth to me and my grandmother before that, and my great grandmother before. What do you think; you, a woman without a drop of saiyan blood, can bring our child to the world!?!"  
"Oh Vegeta, don't worry about a thing. I'm a big girl. I can handle it."  


_I laugh everytime I think of her saying that. Its been about a year since that happened. Little did she know that the next nine months, prove to be a living hell for the both of us._  


### The Nine Months Saga: Part 1.1:Gender of Mine  


"Man Vegeta! Aren't you happy that you're going to be a daddy?" asked Goku as he gave him a firm pat on the back. Vegeta growled.  
"We're suppose to be sparring right now. Not be all buddy buddy."  
"Oh come ON!! I mean, this is your first child. You're own creation."  
"I was drunk from too many daiquiris. I didn't know what I was doing till it was too late," he lied. Actually he kind've swept Bulma off her feet and they raced to the bedroom. "Now let's continue to spar. AND TAKE THAT SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!!!"   
He didn't. Goku just couldn't get out of his head that everything Trunks told him was happening before his very eyes.... that and the fact that he knows Vegeta actually loves Bulma. Now how can he get him to admit it......  
*TWHAK* "PAY ATTENTION!!! HONESTLY!! I GET BETTER TRAINING FROM A PIECE OF CHEESE THEN FROM YOU!!!!! How the hell am I suppose to become a Super Saiyan while you lolly off in LaLa Land?"  
Goku rubbed his chin from the hit.   
"Hey Vegeta, do you know if its going to be a boy or a girl?" Vegeta stopped right there and then.  
"Ummm.... I never thought of that...." Goku thought for a second.  
"Maybe it will be asexual like Piccolo?"  
Vegeta slammed his fist at Goku's face.  
"I didn't want to hear that," he growled.  
My god, what if he does turn out asexual!?! Vegeta wondered as Goku counterattacked the punch.  


Back at Capsule Corps.......  
"Hurry up, Bulma. With a woman with a fat credit card such as yours, can you not wait to go shopping for baby items!?!" shouted Chi Chi as she tapped her foot on the floor. She didn't even deliver Gohan the usual way. After about three or four months, she ended up having Gohan being born in one of Dr.Brief's crazy contraptions. Vegeta, of all the people, she went and screwed with him. Then again, he did look kind of handsome... that brow, those eyes.... that chin...... wait a second, she has Goku..... then again, she is quite jealous. She heard Vegeta was 'quite the man and more' at bed. She remembered Goku waking up at two in the morning cause 'he felt Vegeta's ki being released somewhere'. Goku didn't even know where to began or what it was when it came time for her honeymoon.   
"I'm coming ChiChi! Just let me finish this box of Twinkies and I'll be there."   
"Box of Twinkies!?! Even I didn't eat that much. I guess she's carrying a child with a Saiyan appetite."  
"I'm here!!!" Bulma didn't look that different. Then again it was her first trimester. She wore a head band to pull back her long blue hair with a tight sleeveless blue dress. Enjoy it while it lasts Bulma. Cause that perfect flat belly is gonna turn into a beachball soon. ChiChi grinned evilly.   
"Come on. The car is already warmed up. Where do you want to go first?" asked Chi Chi. She had her hair pulled up as usual but had a set of jeans and a T-shirt. These maybe the few moments where she'll look better then Bulma and she decided to show her body off while it was number one for the next nine months.   
"How about Sears? I need to pick out some clothes," she replied as she opened the door.   
"Do you know if its going to be a boy or a girl?"asked Chi Chi.   
"Too early too tell. I mean, its only been like two months." She was starting to show. Not that much though. But there was a bulge there.   
"What are you hoping it will be?" asked ChiChi.  
"Definitely a girl. My woman's intuition is telling me that its a girl. A beautiful girl who will look like yours truly. I'm planning on getting some cute dresses with little pink ribbons. Oh she will look so adorable with mainly my looks of course. And she will defiantly be raised as a proper human being. Not some gung ho Saiyan bent on fighting all the time."  
"That's what I said about Gohan and looked how he turned out. He's going to go head on against some androids who are gonna kill everyone in the future."  
"No, this is different. You see, Gohan had a destiny. Mine won't. Yours was SAID by some hot purple haired guy from the future that he was DESTINED to fight these things. Mine won't be like that. *sigh*At last, I will have the family I have ever dreamed about..............  
_ears, Bulma's fantasy.......in front of blue house with a white picket fence.....  
Bulma stood at the porch as Vegeta, with a mustache and his hair pulled back, drove towards the home.  
"DARLING YOU ARE HOME!!! How was work? Did you sell any cars today?" she spoke as she wrapped her arms around his neck and locked lips.   
"Just wonderful, my angel from heaven. I sold twelve.... it would've been thirteen but when I accidentally released my Final Flash because the man complained about there not being an AC... well you know.... *high perked laugh*"  
"*high perked laugh* Oh yes quite."   
A little girl hopped out of the Stationwagon. Her bright blue eyes shown like two little sapphires while her green hair was pulled back into two pigtails.   
"Hello Mummy-Dearest, isn't this such a beautiful day," she smiled as her long eye lashes flickered.  
"Oh Petunia, how was ballerina practice today?"  
"You should have seen her, my beautiful wife. She seemed like a swan dancing on air," spoke Vegeta as he lifted Petunia into the air and nuzzled her nose.   
"Oh Veggie-darling?"  
"Yes snuckums?"  
"We really should get ready for our cookout with our dear dear friends Goku and Chi Chi."  
"Oh yes, I will go and get the burgers ready."  
"Father-dear, will you wear your chief's hat and 'Kiss the Cook' apron?"   
"nything for my little, Cupcake!"  
_

"Ummmm.... Bulma, exactly how many Twinkies did you eat already?"  
"I think I'm on my fifth carton."  
"That's what I thought. Listen, dream all you want but I don't think Vegeta would act that way. I am even more doubtful that you could convince him to cut his hair and grow a mustache."  
"But he would look so..... suave like that. We are going to have a daughter. I have never been so sure of anything in my life."  


Back outside......  
Vegeta sighed as he got up from the ground. "So..." Goku said, "do you think it will be a boy, a girl, or an asexual?"  
Vegeta frowned as he pondered. "My Saiyan senses tell me it will be a man. A strong powerful warrior that's fit to be my heir. He will get my looks of course."  
"That will happen," Goku said as he thought about his brief fight with Trunks.  
"Well, looks like there is something in your head after all. I'm glad you agreed with me for once, Kakorot." Vegeta said as he grinned a feral grin. "He will be a worthy combatant who will be known as... Vegeta!"  
"But...um, that's your name," Goku said confused.  
"I'm aware of that. In case you didn't know, but my father's name was Vegeta and his father and his father after that. Yes, he will be named Vegeta."   
"Won't that get... confusing?"   
"He will be named Vegeta Jr. I will not give him some tacky earth name like 'Gohan'."  
"Gohan was my grandpa's name!!!" Goku yelled out in anger surprising even Vegeta.  
"Fine fine, I don't give a damn... he's your son. But my child will be named 'Vegeta'."  
"What if it's a girl?"  
"Then, she will be named Vegeta as well. Like my mother."  
"Both of your parents are named Vegeta!?! Well.... um.... I guess Vegeta can be a girl's name."  
"Of course it can be. Now shut up and let's finish up this fight."   
Still, Vegeta can't focus on the fight. But mark his words... his son...... or daughter or whatever will be born will be raised correctly.... the way of the Saiyan.  


_9 years ahead... Vegeta's fantasy  
_

It was dark as a smaller version of Vegeta walked forward. He had a sword in his hand. On the other side was a group of fighters. "Now die." Chibi Vegeta said.  
The fighters suddenly cowered and begged, "Please, stop. We surrender, to you and your god-like father, The great King Vegeta."  
"Well...hmmmm" Little Vegeta said pondering. "Nah," he shrugged as he threw a fireball and fried the cowards.  
"Well done!" Big Vegeta said as he came out of the shadows. "But you still need work."  
"I know, Father." Little Vegeta said coldly.  
"Now how should we torture Goku today my son? Strangle his wife right in front of him? Cut off one of his arms so that he will not be able to fight anymore? Destroy this blue marble and everything he ever loved in a fiery heat of ARMAGEDDON!!!!!"  
"No father. He has dishonored you and made you look like the weaker being when you are far more powerful then he. No Father, I am through toying around with this third class trash. Bring forth..................................................  


..........the black box."  
Many solders gasped as they began to whisper to each other.   
"My son. I see you show no pity in this pathetic Saiyan. You have made me proud. Now.... its time to show no mercy."  
The little boy walked towards Goku. Goku was chained to a wall. His sweat and blood flowed from his temples. His eyes were squinting, without enough strength to keep them up.   
Vegeta Jr.'s hair was all up like some cream puff like his fathers. His armor glistened in the dim sunlight as he took his arm and slammed it at Goku. Blood began to trickle down his cheek.   
"Now.... ordinarily you would be dead by now..... along with the hundreds or thousands of others. But seeing that you had made my honorable father the laughing stock this side of the East Galaxy.... I had reserve a special torture.......just for you...."  
"*cough cough* You will never break me, Vegeta Jr.NEVER!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Is that so?"  
"I have died twice, beaten Freeza, your father, Cell.......no wait, haven't killed him yet...."  
"SHUT UP!!!! Those so called 'villians'..... are nothing compared..... TO THIS!!!!" Goku gasphed as Little Veggie pulled out a small black item. Vegeta folded his arms and let off a sadistic laugh.  
"Yes Goku... my revenge upon you has come...... you will now watch the Dragonball GT....... dubbed and edited by Funimation for FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES!!!!!! My oh my. It looks like we will be using the one where Pan is queen of the bees. MWHA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Goku screamed.  


"MWHA HA HA HAH HA HA *THWONK*", laughed Vegeta till he got slugged in the gut. His eyes shot wide open as he coughed once and fell to his knees.   
"What was that about. I can't think of the last time you let your guard off that long," spoke Goku as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Vegeta flung it off him.  
"Nothing. I was.... thinking... that's all...."  
"Is there something wrong? Hey, look, its the girls. Com'n, Vegeta, lets go talk to them before they leave. Here, I'll help you get..."  
"I am *grimice* PERFECTLY capable of flying by myself. I had my stomach blown away before,"  
"Well so have I."  
"..... I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!!"  
With that, the two flew down towards the capsule corps exit.   
"HEY CHI CHI!!!" shouted Goku as he smiled and waved his arms. Vegeta grumbled as he clutched his chest a bit.  
"HEY GOKU, HEY VEGETA!!!" smiled Bulma as she waved back. Goku placed his hands behind him as he floated a bit higher then her. He then leaned his head forwards a bit.   
"Wow, I can already feel its ki and its only a couple of months old," he smiled as he placed an ear near her belly. Bulma laughed as she pulled back some strands of hair. "Reminds me of when Chi Chi had Gohan."  
"Oh I remember that. Good luck with that thing, Bulma. Saiyans are NOT that comfortable to carry around. I didn't even go through a trimester and a half before I had to have Gohan removed and placed in a incubator till the rest of the nine months was up."  
Bulma smiled but then gasped as she saw ChiChi place a hand at the base of Goku's chest.  
"Bulma.... what's the matter?" asked Goku.  
".....my god..." she murmured. Her eyes began to water as she collapsed on her knees. Vegeta's face snapped as he quickly flew to her side.  
"What, is the baby doing something?" he asked.  
"Its not that..... but.... looking at ChiChi.... don't you see it? We aren't married. I had sex before marriage."  
Goku and ChiChi looked at each other.  
"Vegeta.... I thought you two were married already?" asked Goku in a slight monotone.  
"Bulma.... of all people... I can't believe you did such a thing.... and you're having his child as maid!?!"   
"Well so? I've seen five years getting together back on Planet Vegeta? Is there a problem?" snapped Vegeta.  
"Its dishonorable here on Earth. I couldn't live with myself if the child comes into the world with.... his parents not as committed as they should've been. I feel so ashamed and embarrass," cried Bulma as ChiChi's ring gleamed in the sunlight. Bulma then began to sob on his shoulder.   
NOW what does he do? He figured that he could leave her if the child dies beforehand or she decides to abort it. Should he risk committing himself to being her mate for life? After all she was just a human and he was the mighty 'Prince of Saiyans'. Still looking at her, he felt that his honor would be just as tarnished as hers if the child did come to the world to unwed parents. Although he didn't see nothing wrong with sex before marriage, she was very upset that she never thought about it before hand. Humans.... for a race that has as much ki as a toothpick, they sure do have alot of rules.  
_"Does it really mean that much for us to get married?"_ he whispered softly in her ear in a somewhat soothing voice.   
_ "Everything,"_ she whispered back.  
"Kakorot..."  
"Yes, Vegeta?"   
"Go and gather Krillan, your son, Piccolo and maybe Yamcha. Make sure you tell them to pack a three days worth of clothes. We will be leaving tonight."  
"Ummm sure.... but.... what for?"  
"I need to fulfill my half of the human commitment... and there is one place that can help us now..... the Sacred Land. WE ARE GOING TO LAS VEGAS!!!!!!!!!"  


And now a commercial break from our sponsors. _ (On some city street)_ An orange man in polka dot dress and hat walks with a cool ease.   
Jeice: Oh my, I-am-so-bored. Boo-Hoo.Boo-Hoo.Whatever-shall-I.... _ *squints at the cuecard*_ da....errr do. Yeah do. What ever shall I do?  
A horned man enters the scene.  
Captain Ginyu: Fear not, little lady. Say, I got an idea. WHY DON'T YOU JOIN THE GINYU FORCE?  
Jeice: The Ginyu Force? You mean the most fashionable, professional killers in the universe?  
Captain Ginyu: Yep. Not only that, but we have paid holidays, unlimited mileage, and dental insurance. Don't believe us? Ask some of our satisfied customers......  
_ camera focuses on some green guy with four eyes._   


Guido: I joined the Ginyu force one week ago. And now I have more confidence in myself more then ever.  
Captain Ginyu (off screen): _ Psst, lower the camera. They can see the halo._   
Camera man: Sorry.  
Captain Ginyu: Be all you can be. The few.... _ the extremely fewer now after Planet Namek_ ..... the proud, the Ginyu.  


This commercial was brought to you by Banquet's Fried Chicken and by FUNimation. Quality Anime at its best.  
_

######  (No Ginyu members were hurt in the making of this commercial. We blame that on Goku)

  
And now back to the following fic. _

### Part 2.1: Livin' Vegeta Loca  


"WOW, LAS VEGAS!!! Gee I never been there before. What do you think its like, Dad?" asked Gohan as he began to fold a nice clean pair of underwear inside his suitcase.  
"Well son, I heard its a magical place. Filled with nothing but lights and pure excitement. Plus.... the buffets are suppose to be real cheap there. We'll finally get to eat some 'edible' food for once."  
"WHAT WAS THAT!?!" Goku and Gohan turned and saw ChiChi standing at the doorway.  
"Oh hey ChiChi, heh heh, sorry.... you know I was just kidding earlier."  
Chi Chi smiled.  
"I know you were, dear. _ You sleep on the couch when we get there."_   
There was a knocking at their door. Gohan walked over and opened it.   
"Hey Krillan. Ho ho, you came. I didn't think you would since it's...."  
"Vegeta's wedding? This I HAVE to see. Besides, I never went to Las Vegas before. Maybe I'll score it on the slots," laughed Krillan as he slapped his back.   
"Same here.... I too am curious on Vegeta's commitment to Bulma," spoke Piccolo as he appeared behind him.   
"Wow, I didn't expect you to come, Piccolo. That is so cool of you," said Gohan. Piccolo flashed a smile.  
"Thanks, kid."   


_ Later.... in Las Vegas, Nevada.... at MGM Grand Hotel and Casino rooftop....._

The capsule craft flew towards the meeting area.   
"Hmph, I still can't believe you won't take the three minute wedding procedure. That way I can get this over with and get back to training," grunted Vegeta. That was the main reason he wanted the wedding here.   
"Oh Veggie-chan..."  
"CAN YOU QUIT CALLING ME VEGGIE-CHAN IN PUBLIC!!!"   
"But no one is listening."  
"Of course not. THEY ARE READING EVERY BLASTED WORD AND THOUGHT IN THIS STUPID STORY!!!!!!!"  
"Oh Vegeta, relax. Enjoy yourself. Besides, with everyone coming...."  
"What are you talking about woman? The ONLY people who I had come to this were Goku, ChiChi, Gohan,your parents to make you happy and Piccolo,Yamcha, and Krillan so we have the witnesses to make this official!! WHO THE ELSE DID YOU BRI**..... oh my god........"  
Vegeta almost broke a vain as he saw dozens of Nameks checking into their rooms.  
"WHAT DID YOU DO!!! INVITE THE ENTIRE RACE TO THIS!?!"  
" Oh no, Dende couldn't come because he had homework. He did sent us this cute little card. Wanna read it?"  
"GAH.... oh very well.... hmmmm..... may you enjoy many blissful years of happiness blah blah blah... and make sure to go through the wedding, I have 10 bucks riding that you two get hitched. WHAT THE!?! WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN?"  
The rest of the group arrived at the hotel. Vegeta turned towards them as the Nameks and the Z-Fighters exchanged greetings.  
"ALL RIGHT!!!! Hear this. I want the everyone... and I do mean EVERYONE to raise their hand at who placed bets on whether I get married or not!!" The room grew silent. "WELL!?!!!"  
Slowly but surely....  
"Hmmmm, Yamcha, yes I figured you would, Piccolo, well you are Namek after all, Chi Chi, eh... you're a woman......"  
"GOHAN!?!" bursted Goku as Gohan rose his hand.  
"Well you never pay me enough allowance. How else am I gonna earn a living?"  
Vegeta twitched an eyebrow and shot up into the sky.   
"Wait here, I'll go after him," said Goku as he soared as well.   
"NOW MISTER!!! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TALK OVER YOUR GAMBLING HABIT!!! Oh my poor little boy. I have slaved to make ends meet while you go off and earn blood money. AND YOU ALL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR SHOWING SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE ON MY LITTLE BOY!!!" shouted ChiChi. The others began to sweat a bit.  
"Uhhh, Mrs.Son. He was the one who organized it. But we'll cut you fifty/fifty on the profits."   
Chi rose an eyebrow.  
"Sixty."  
The Nameks began to whisper to themselves.  
"Deal."  
Bulma sighed as she placed a hand over her stomach. Soon she can get this sin from off her chest, and then she can focus on being happy that the child would come in seven months.  


In the sky.......  
"VEGETA! VEGETA, WHERE ARE YOU!?!" screamed Goku as he sailed through the moonlit clouds.   
"So Kakorot, you decided to follow me, eh? I don't want your company. I came here to be alone and only to be alone," Vegeta murmured as he appeared from a cloud with his arms crossed as usual.   
"Com'n Vegeta. You can't hide from this. No one could if they were in your shoes."   
"Look at me, Kakorot. I was once a Great Prince who ruled over many and conquered all. No one feared me. No one would stand up to me. I am here to fix a sin, but instead the others treat it like an idiotic appeal of entertainment..... while your son is trying to make money off it."  
"ITS CALLED LIFE!! DEAL WITH IT!! YOU KNOW YOU'RE SCARED! YOU KNOW YOU MADE A MISTAKE!!! But instead of admitting it, you have to shit on everyone."  
Vegeta slid his hands on his hips and cocked an eyebrow.  
_ "I hope it dies before this wedding happens,"_ he growled as he floated back down. Goku hovered up there.  
"You know you didn't mean it."   
Vegeta sighed and pretended not to hear the last comment. Particularly, because he was right.  
Goku continued, "Besides, at least you know what you are doing. I mean, before I married Chi Chi, I had fought lots of enemies and even once fought off the entire Red Ribbon Army before but my god... when Chi Chi told me what does 'marriage' meant....."  
Vegeta rose an eyebrow as he asked in a curious tone, "Wait a second, I may be here on Earth far shorter then you but it didn't take me long to know what marriage is. Are you saying...." Goku nodded his head.   
Goku sighed. he knew that the only way to make Vegeta feel any better was to let him witness his stupidity... that way he would then make some wise-ass comeback later. "So um... you see... heh heh... when I first met Chi Chi, I *cough*accidentally proposed marriage to her. I HONESTLY THOUGHT "BRIDE" WAS A CUISINE OF SOME SORT..... but when I finally found out, I had to keep my word."  
Vegeta shook as he laughed out, "BWA HAHAHAHAH!!! YOU AND YOUR MATE GOT MARRIED BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA EAT?!?!"  
"Well I was hungry!!!!" Goku whined as the two started to head back to the hotel.  
"Sure, sure, and when you heard the word _ 'honeymoon'_ , you thought it was some sort of dessert?"  
"...ummmm.... actually I....." Vegeta slapped his hand on his face.  
Vegeta turned towards the hotel. He could see Chi Chi and Bulma chatting over by the patio. He sighed as he placed his hand on his temple.  
"God, I wish I could get this done as soon as possible."  
Goku knew he needed to be alone. Its so strange. This had to be the first time in which he's had a decent conversation with Vegeta without neither one of them throwing a punch. Could it be that he actually gotten through to him?....probably not. Vegeta would probably enjoy wiping the floor with him in a brawl then eve.... hey wait a second.... that ain't a bad idea.... now THAT would defiantly help him feel better.  
"HEY VEGETA! Wanna go spar?"   
Vegeta turned his head towards him.   
"This ain't like you, Kakorot. But if you really wish to have a broken jaw for this whole trip... be my guest..."  
"Okay.... but I choose the battle grounds."  
"Fine fine, but we better be back before the sauna closes," he replied as Goku lead him down towards a building.  


Back at the patio.....  
"Ohhh, I'm so excited. Not only am I going to be a grandmother, I will also be a mother-in-law as well!!!" piped Mrs.Briefs as she took a sip of tea.  
Chi Chi was nibbling on a cracker while Bulma continued to wolf down her Twinkies.  
"Honestly, I don't know why you had a baby with Vegeta."   
"What's wrong with him?" asked Bulma as she opened up another carton of Twinkies.   
"Well.... not much...umm, he maybe a bit.... attractive.... but... don't you think that he seems to act like he has a corncob up his ass all the time?"  
"Oh Chi Chi, I think he's the most sweetest soon to be son-in-law I have ever met."  
"Umm, Mrs.Briefs. I think he's going to be the only son-in-law you will ever meet."  
"Chi Chi, you don't get it. I know it sounds weird but me and Vegeta... well, we have this bond. He doesn't show it. But he does love me and I love him,"replied Bulma as she took her finger and dipped it into the cream filling and licked it.  
"Still, I don't trust him."  
"That is because Goku and Vegeta have fought against each other from day one. But I haven't seen neither one duke it out for a long long time."  
Goku's brow sweat as he took another blow to the chest... then another.... then another....  
Vegeta's grin widen as he dropped kick on him and flipped him over.   
"I...... won't.... let you... DEFEAT ME!!!!! RRRRRRAAGGHHHH!!!" screamed Goku as he threw multiple fireballs.  
Vegeta grinned as he merely crossed his arms and blocked them.  
"No.... those fireballs used up the last of my energy," muttered Goku as his eyes widen.   
"Bye bye, Kakorot.... see you in hell," laughed Vegeta as he unleashed Final Flash.   
"NO! NO GOD NO!!!"  
Goku laid there on his back.   
"MWHA HA HA HA!!! I DID IT!! I FINALLY DEFEATED KAKOROT!!!"  
Goku groaned.  
*Please insert $.25 to continue playing _ 'Dragonball GT:Final Bout*_   
"Ohh, that was my last quarter. Now I can't buy those Reese Cups from that vending machine. Why did they have to make my character so weak on this game," Goku pouted as he watched Vegeta play against the computer. A crowd began to surround Vegeta.   
_ "Unbelievable!!!"  
"His skill..... its so impeccable."  
"His fingers.... they seem to execute the combos in ways I have never seen."  
"He must be the greatest fighter I have ever seen."  
"I feel so honored to witness such gameplay."  
_ They all goked and wondered. It'll take awhile before he'll be able to pull Vegeta away from that machine. He needed to take a walk around the arcade. He then walked over to another side and saw someone familiar.  
_** "8 ball in the upper left hand pocket,"**_ spoke a deep voice.   
"Hey Piccolo? Is that you? HI!!!" said Goku as he turned to the corner and saw his green friend with a cue stick in his hand and his turban full of cash in the other. "Wow, I didn't know you were that good in pool?"  
_** "The game requires deep concentration and to be in toned with your soul or else the ball will not go in where you choose it."**_ Goku's face was stunned.  
"Wow... I never realized how deep pool is. So are saying that you meditate before you hit the ball?"  
_**"Of course," **_he spoke as he centered the balls in a triangle. He then sat on the ground and closed his eyes. Bits of energy began to surround him and he started to float above the surface. The cuestick slowly began to float on its own and aimed at the white ball. With a gentle click it rolled knock them all in different directions. Suddenly, they all started to bump and follow each other and ended up rolling... one by one... in one hole, with the white ball following in last.   
_**"Damn it.... I scratched it."**_ spoke Piccolo as he kicked a hole into the pool table.  
"Hey, it was still a good shot."   
_**"Yeah, but I keep hitting the white ball in the pocket. Oh well. Are you going to Vegeta's Bachelor Party tomorrow?"**_  
"I didn't know he was going to have a bachelor's party?"  
_**"Heh, why did you think Master Roshi, Oolong and Chowzu came?"**_  
"Will there be a magician there? I hope there ain't clowns. Clowns scare me."  
_**"No need to worry, Goku. There won't be any clowns, but there is defiantly going to be someone there to put on the magic."**_  


Narrator: And as our hero stood there next to the broken Pool table and his arch rival at the "Final Bout" machine... he wonders.... What is a bachelor party? What will he do there? Will there be a white rabbit out of a hat....... STAY TOON FOR THE NEXT DRAGONBALL....  


"WAIT A SECOND!!! I AM NO WHERE COMPLETE WITH MY GAME!!!" complained Vegeta as a man in a brown uniform and a broom stood in front of him.   
"Sir, we are about to close up for tonight. I'm afraid you will have to leave." Vegeta growled as his hair was flashing blond, about to begin the stunning metamorphosis to SSJ.  
"Uh huh. Listen Pal. I've got a life too. But it requires this place to be swept up first.Leave before I throw you out." Vegeta's face turned red with anger as a vain started to bulge from his temple.  
"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO THROW OUT THE GREAT PRINCE OF SAIYANS!!!"   
"Vegeta, stop. Let's just leave. Its getting late and we need to head back to the hotel," spoke Piccolo as he got between the cleaner and his royal highness. Vegeta's teeth gnashed together, grinding like two a knife being sharpened against rock. The man didn't even flinch as he began to yawn.   
"Why isn't he moving? Doesn't he realize Vegeta's gonna kill him?" whispered Goku to another cleaning man.  
"Eh, we get weirdoes like him all the time. You get use to this kind of stuff after awhile," he shrugged as Vegeta raised one fist at the other cleaning man. His palm began to scorch with energy like a white flame. Suddenly, Vegeta closed his eyes and let it extinguish.  
"Hmmph, for a human, you are alot braver then I thought. Well then, for that, since you decided to not die a coward; I will allow you to live and leave you with your pitiful task of scraping the candy wrappers and bubble gum off with your fingers. But first....." Vegeta blew a hole in the roof. He then ran over towards the outlet, unplugged it and heaved the machine towards the hotel.  
Goku and Piccolo gasped as they followed him to where they were staying. The two cleaning men stared at each other.  
"So, you wanna clean this up, or should I?"  
"You do it. I cleaned up the last one when that guy with the red lipstick, pale body and long tail came here and took the other Dragonball Z game."  


_

### Part 2.2 Livin' Vegeta Loca  


_

"Hmmm, I was thinking about.... Mary-Anna, but,oh I always wanted Princess(get it!! Prince Vegeta and Princess Vegeta? HA HA HA.... oh god that sucked)." smiled Bulma as she was looking through a book.  
"Princess!?! Mary-Anna!?! What sort of names are those!?!" replied Vegeta as he continued to mesh buttons on his new toy.  
"Well, then what do you suggest?" asked Bulma as she laid in bed with her arms crossed. "Vegeta of course. It is the royal name. It is the name that built a reputation of placing fear in the hearts and souls of all." Vegeta paused it for a second to go 'relieve' himself. He walked towards the bathroom when a large assortment of boxes caught his attention. "Huh, what's this?" His hand slowly pulled out a box. He then proceeded and removed the ribbon, cover and tissue paper off. "WHAT IS THIS!!!!" he gasped as he pulled out a little light blue dress.   
"I suggest you change your suggestion, cause its going to be a sweet little girl," she replied as she cocked her head in pride.  
"What are you talking about woman? The blasted thing probably hasn't formed its legs yet! How the hell do you know its going to be a girl? A warrior never makes any assumptions and you shouldn't either."  
"Oh really?" Bulma lazily pulled her body up and walked towards the closet and pulled out some miniature Saiyan armor. "I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one who makes assumptions on what gender our child will be."   
"They use Saiyan armor for both male and female...."  
"Uh huh, then why does it have a cup?" Vegeta began to growl.  
"Why are you still awake!?! You need your sleep since you are carrying that baby." Vegeta turned back to his video game machine.  
Bulma smiled. So much pride in her little Saiyan-man. Bulma touched her stomach. "Don't you ever try to grow up like your daddy," she whispered, silently laughing to herself. She felt so sleepy. It has been a long day.. for the both of them. Bulma then let out a yelp.   
"What is it?" asked Vegeta as he turned his attention towards her.   
"Ugh, just alittle pain. That's all. Don't worry, its gone now." Vegeta slowly nodded his head. He sensed that something was not right with her.... she's perfectly healthy... but its something else.   


In Goku's Room....  
Goku laid there in bed as Chi Chi was leaning against his chest.   
"Hey Chi Chi?" asked Goku as he looked down towards her.   
"Mmmhmm?" she mumbled.   
"How come you wouldn't let me have my bachelor's party when we got married?" ChiChi's eyes shot open.  
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING... my god.... you're not..."  
"ChiChi, can I go to Vegeta's bachelor's party tomorrow? I can bring Gohan. I'm sure he'll have a blast. There's even going to be a magician there."  
"WHAT"!?!!!!!!"  


Narrator: Will Goku go and get to see the *cough* magician? What is wrong with Bulma? How much money will little Gohan make with the bets that were placed on if Vegeta goes through with it or not? Will Piccolo be able to take down Android 20....  
Piccolo: WRONG STORY!!!  
Narrator: Uhh sorry. All this and more on the next part of DRAGONBALL Z!!!! The Nine Months Saga.  


_Brought to you by the Executives of FUNimation. Quality Anime at it's best._


	2. THE SECOND TRIMESTER!!!

### The Nine Months Saga  
Part 3.1: Magic? 

  


The next day.......  


Goku, Piccolo, and Krillan walked towards the casino with all of them wearing some Hawaiian shirts and sandals. It was a bit warm outside today as Goku chugged down some Pepsi and tossed the can in the trashcan.   
A mother and her little girl walked pass them.  
"Mommy LOOK, a weird guy with green skin," she said as pointed towards him.  
"Oh Stacy, its probably just another showman in a costume."  
"I don't know , mommy. That guy with the tail carrying the Dragonball Z video game machine looked pretty real to me."  
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm more worried of them two. Just look at his hideous haircut and have you ever seen a man THAT short!?! My god. Come on, lets just go and mind our own business. I don't want you to get near those two FREAK shows."  
"Hey Goku, why is that woman staring at us?" asked Krillan as he opened the door for them.   
"Gee I don't know. Maybe its my legs?"  
** "Your legs!?!"** replied Piccolo.  
"Yeah, Freeza threw a fireball at me. Didn't hurt me much. Just singed all my hair off my legs. You should have seen how jealous ChiChi was when I showed her." Krillan looked down.  
"Hmmm, I never noticed. Wow, they must be smooth as a baby's bottom. HEY, there's the building. Slots, here I come," he shouted as he ran towards the casino area.   
** "Goku, what's the matter?"** asked Piccolo.  
"Its just that, well.... I wanted to take Gohan to see the magician. You should have seen how heart broken he was when Chi Chi forbid him to co***"  
"Hey guys, can you help me with these?" They all turned and saw Yamcha carrying two cases of "Samuel Adams", "Coors,... and a nice 12 pack of Hawaiian Punch for Goku. Vegeta stood on a table with his arms folded.  
"HURRY UP YAMCHA!!! My child will be delivered before you get done unpacking!!" Yamcha merely sneered as he haled the liquors from one side to the other. Vegeta then turned to see the Hawaiian trio. "Ahhh Kakorot? So glad you can come. To think, your wife nearly didn't allow you to come to my little party. To think, myself, the Ginyu Force, and Freeza have attempted many times to break you. And the only one who was able to tame you was bitchy homemaker."  
"Same to you, Vegeta." Vegeta's eyes widen a bit. He didn't expect that coming. Could Bulma be the only one who has actually.... no no. He was the great prince of Saiyans!! No one can tame him!! No one.......  
"Hey Vegeta, phone call. Its Bulma!!" shouted one of the managers. Vegeta sighed to himself. He was hoping to have a day off from his mate.... that and to do a bit of drinking. When was the last time he had a nice bottle of Samuel Adams? Considering how long he's been dead on Namek and his attack on Earth.... eh... probably about a couple of years. With a front flip, Vegeta jumped off the table and snatched the phone.  
"What is it?" he grumbled.   
"I just wanted to say "I love you" that's all." Vegeta choked on his own breath. He shifted his eyes a bit.   
_"I love you too._ *click*" he quickly murmured. He doubt she didn't even heard it. But he didn't particularly care. Tonight he's going to spend the last day on earth single.   


Bulma placed the phone down. She couldn't understand his last words. She slumped in the chair as she continued to look through the book of names. ChiChi was sitting on the other side, cooking some rice for them to eat for lunch.   
"Here, you need something a bit healthier then those Twinkies. So what did Romeo say?" asked ChiChi as she placed the bowl in front of her.  
"I don't know. He kind of garbled it up. I want my child to have a loving father. A caring father. But Vegeta just has too much pride in himself to mess with his own creation. Bulma's eyes welled as she placed her hands on her face.   
"There there, Bulma. I know Vegeta's being a total stump. But listen, maybe some shopping would do the trick. Besides, I need to go visit Goku. I need to give him that medicine in case the heart disease attacks him while he's at Vegeta's Bachelor's Party." Bulma, picked up a soft pink tissue and dried her eyes up. Bulma began to rise up in her chair....  
"Gah!!!" she moaned as she clutched her stomach.   
"BULMA!!!"  
"I'm okay. The pain is going away now," she replied as Chi Chi helped her to her feet.  
"Maybe you should see the doctor after your wedding?"   
"Yeah, I should. I don't want the baby to be hurt or affected by this."  
Back at Vegeta's Party.....  
"Come on... come on.... lemon.... lemon......GAH!!! stupid orange," shouted Krillan as he kicked the machine.  
** "What is the matter my friend?"** asked Piccolo as he approached the cueball. "These freggin' things are rigged. I have not won once at anything here," he pouted as he crossed his arms.   
** "Are you sure?" ** asked Piccolo as he pulled the handle. Three BARs appeared on the screen and money began to pour out.  
"How....how did you do it?" asked Krillan.  
** "I was able to in tone my soul. Become one with the machine........ that and I changed the odds on the machine so we can't lose."**  
"SWEET!!!" replied Krillan as he became all giddy with joy, pulling on the lever and coins coming out.  
Yamcha, Vegeta, and Goku all sat at a round table awaiting for the show to start. "Heh heh, we defiantly should've invited Master Roshi," laughed Yamcha as he took a sip of Samuel Adams.   
"Yeah, too bad Ms. Majik had to cancel. That would've been a show," muttered Vegeta as he took another drink as well.  
"What? There ain't gonna be a magician?"  
"Nope. So I had to settle for the next best thing..."  
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE CLOWNS!!"  
"You porchmonkey!! There ain't gonna be no clowns. If there was, I would've held this at a circus for a third of the price."  
"Oh.....heh heh," blushed Goku as he turned a light pink at the tip of his cheeks. "So then who's coming?"  
"You'll see," smirked Yamcha. Krillan and Piccolo came into the room holding bags of quarters."  
"Wow, today must've been your day," spoke Goku as he helped him with his money.  
"Sure was; hey Piccolo? Will you help me pick out some lottery numbers when we get home?"  
** "Sure, but I get a cut in the winnings. Hmmm, its starting...." **  
Piccolo and Krillan pulled up a seat next to the trio. Two spotlights shown on the stage as the curtain unfolded. Seven women wearing blue glittered outfits, with feathered hats appeared. Each one flashed a smile and placed their hands on each others shoulders.  
"YEAH!!! CAN CAN!!!" shouted Krillan as the beautiful girls began to kick their smooth long tanned legs up in the air.  
** "Can Can?"** muttered Piccolo as his face looked as if it was smashed by a brick. "I've always had a flair for it. Now shut up! Hmm, that's odd.... I could've sworn I hired eight Can Can dancers......"  


Outside the building....  
"Hmmm, 498 Barker Street. Yep this is the place," said Bulma as she pulled herself from out of the car. Chi Chi stretched her arms as she herself opened the door and hoped out.   
A man stood at the front gates with his arms crossed.  
"Excuse me, my husband is in there. Could you give him this medicine for me?" she asked.   
"Sure thing, miss."Before she got a chance to hand over the vial... a loud pitched scream filled the air.  
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU,PERVERT!!!!!!!!" shouted a brisk woman as her little feathered hat bounced in the air. Master Roshi followed afterwards.  
"WAIT!!!! I.... must..... touch them...." he piped as they disappeared over the hill. The two girls stared at each other.  
"Hmmm, maybe I should give this to him personally."  


Inside the building......  
One of the girls broke from the group and leaped right towards the table.   
"So whose the lucky man tonight?" she spoke in a breathy tone.  
"Oh, its Vegeta," said Yamcha as he pointed towards him.   
"Wanna Can Can?" she asked as she slipped a hand under his chin.  
"NO WAY!!! I am NOT going to embarrass myself. Besides, I prefer to watch it, then be a part of it." The Can Can dancer sulked on the table and faced Goku.   
"Hey sweetie. Would you like to dance with us?"  
"But uh, I never Can Can'ed before.... is it fun?"  
"We'll find out," she spoke as she pulled his collar over towards the stage.   
Yamcha and Krillan began to whistle while Vegeta rolled his eyes and took another sip of alcohol. Goku placed his hands on the other girl's shoulders. Centered in between the group, the music began to roll. Goku found himself in unison with the girls, flipping his legs in the air.  
"HEY, THIS IS KIND FUN!!! Great exercise for the calves too," smiled Goku.Vegeta placed his hand on his face and began to mutter to himself.  
"Hey handsome, love your legs? What kind of razor do you use?" asked one of the girls.  
"Oh, I didn't use a razor. Freeza did that."  
"Hmmm, I might have to pick some up at Jenny's Beauty Salon," she mumbled as the doors flung open.   
"GOKU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING UP THERE WITH THOSE SLUTS!!!!"  
"But Chi Chi, they aren't prostitutes. They're just Ca***...." Chi Chi slammed her fist in his face knocking Krillan cold. Chi Chi stamped over towards the stage.  
"Oh hey Chi Chi, wanna join us? This is so much fun. And you did complain about that extra three pounds you gained last week?" smiled Goku with his arms STILL on the two girls shoulders.   
"My god, her ki is raising. Do you think she'll turn Super Saiyan !?!" mumbled Yamcha as he took out a scanner. Chi Chi front flipped ontop of the stage, grabbed one of the girls by the headdress and chucked her to the other side. Another Can Can girl went down to grab a chair and tried to slam it on her.   
"Oh no you don't!!" shouted Bulma as she karate chopped it to bits and flipped her over towards where the guys were sitting.  
"WATCH YOUR AIMING,WOMAN!! YOU'RE GONNA SPILL MY 'Samuel Adams'!!" shouted Vegeta as he the dancer laid spawned on there.   


Twenty minutes later.....  


Narrator: Can Can dancers continued to be flung all through the air as Goku went over and sat with his friends. Pondering.... deep thoughts.....  


"Gee, you think we should interfere and stop them?" asked Goku as he landed in a chair. They all turned toward Krillan.... minus two teeth and a broken nose.  
"Ummm..... I think we should let them handle this."  
"Yeah," "Goodpoint," they all mumbled while Vegeta leaned back on his chair.  
"Bah, scared of a couple of earth women. Act the cowards you are all you want, but if I'm getting married, I might as well have a woman who looks halfway decent enough and worthy of marrying the Prince of all Saiyans!!" he said as he stared walking towards the two as they were beating the stuffing out of another Can Can dancer.  
Vegeta looked over. Gently pushing aside the Can Can Dancer, grabbing Bulma's hand.... and then chucking Chi Chi towards the table at where the other guys sat.  
"HEY, THIS ONE'S MINE!!!" shouted Goku.   
"Exactly." With that, Vegeta flung Bulma on his shoulders and started walking out the door.  
"Hey wait up," said Goku as he tossed Chi Chi on his shoulders and started to follow him.  
The others stared with wide eyes.  
"Well.... they are Saiyan after all," muttered Yamcha.  
"Oooooooo my headz.... hey... why ams I talking funny?" asked Krillan.  
"Ummm, say, wanna another Samuel Adams?"  
"Surz."  


Narrator: While the Saiyans take their.... mates home. An ominous silhouette watches them. Its long tail slithered and tensed as it watches the groups soar through the air. His lips curled into a smile.  
"He heh heh, so those fools think they have really beaten me. For months I have been waiting for a chance.. at revenge. Now is the perfect time, to strike and place my sinister plans in action.....for I..... AM...... FREEZA........ Third cousin twice removed. MWHA HA HA HA HA.... eh... why am I saying my secret plans outloud?"  
  
  
Narrator: Cause you're the villain of this saga since Freeza is stuck in hell. Meaning the people need to know in advance what you are going to do to them.  
  
  
"Well then. This is a good time to strike. With the wedding going on, I Freeza's..... third cousin twice remove.... will obliterate all that monkey cares and loves MWHA HA HA HA HA!!!!"   
"Hey excuse me? Are you like... Freeza?" asked a Can Can girl.  
"eh... um.... I"m just his third cousin twice removed."  
"Oh well, we were wondering.... could you like use your mystical powers to shave our legs."  
Freeza's third cousin twice removed's eyes shot open.  
"Well... umm... I...." he mumbled as he twiddled with his thumbs.  
"Please........" she said as she tickled his chin.  
"Oh.... very well."   


From the next dimension......  
"YOU IDIOT!!!!! What are you doing!!! You are not suppose to be shaving Can Can dancer's legs!?! You are suppose to be pending your revenge for my DEATH!!!"  


Freeza's third cousin twice removed didn't reply as the girls giggled and tickled him. He dazely smiled as he lightly blasted the little stubs off.  
Freeza started banging his head on a rock. He's gonna be stuck here, longer then he thought.  


### Part 3.2: I DO....

  
It was the night before the wedding as Bulma laid there in bed. Vegeta straighten up his rented tux so that he can have some extra sleeping time tomorrow. He stretched his arms and laid in bed next to her.  
He turned his head towards her. Her blue eyes look like a never ending night while her soft hair seem to be spawned across the pillow. Her angelic face never looked so peaceful. Vegeta smiled a bit as he laid on his side. Suddenly, she began to stir. Her body leaned over him. She placed one hand over his chest.  
"Vegeta...." she whispered.   
"Yes?" he whispered back as she knelt forward and leaned her head against his broad chest.  
"Could you go buy some Twinkies for me? I have this sudden craving for some."  
"WHAT!?! WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET TWINKIES AT...."  
His eyes shot forward at the clock. "....1:30 in the morning!?! "  
"But I'm hungry."  
"Go grab yourself an orange from the frige."  


##### "I WANT TWINKIES!!! NOW GIVE THEM TO ME..... or else..." 

she shouted as her eyes glowed a bright red and her neck twisted 360 degrees.  


####### "Yes Ma'am."  


  
Later.... on some city street......  
"Where am I gonna find Twinkies at this time at night," said Vegeta as he strolled around in a robe and slippers. "Ahh, a gas station... surely they have some left," he murmured as he flew towards there. With a gentle push, the door's bell rang.   
"Can I help you?" the store clerked asked as he straightened up his glasses. "Where are your Twinkies at!?!"  
"I'm sorry sir. We've sold the last box to this blue haired woman this morning."  
"WHAT!?!!!!"   
"Why don't you try the next store. I'm sure they sell what you are seeking."  
  
The next store....  
"Forgive me, but we are all sold out of Twinkies. This blue haired woman......"  
  
The next store after that......  
"Well this blue haired woman....."  


After that......  
"She said she had this deep craving for Twinkies......"  


Twelve stores later.....  
It was five A.M... Vegeta's eyes were red from hoping from one store to the other. They lazily gazed over towards the baked section and noticed one last Twinkie was left.   
"Finally!!!" he said as he picked up the delicate little cake. Vegeta walked towards the woman to pay for his purchase....  
  
"ALL RIGHT!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND VALUABLES.... NOW!!!" shouted a man dressed in black with a silk stalking on his head.  
"AAAAAAAHHH," screamed a couple as they rolled to the floor and placed their hands on their head.  
The clerk frantically fiddled with her keys, trying to get her cash register open. Vegeta just stood there and cocked an eyebrow.  
"Wait a second. I need to pay for my Twinkie first!" said Vegeta as he began to dig into his pockets for a quarter.  
"I SAID, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!" the robber screamed as he began to fire bullets at Vegeta. Vegeta didn't realize it as they bounced off while he handed the clerk the money. The robber kept shooting.....*click click*. He then stared down at it.   
"Awww shit.... I'm outta of bullets," he panicked as he tossed his gun missing Vegeta and smashing the Twinkie.  
Vegeta gasped as his hands began cringe. A smooth, steady growl began to fill the air..... his head turned. Suddenly.... his hair flashed a bright blond and eyes glowed green.  
"How DARE you smash the last Twinkie. I've been up since 1:30 this morning trying to find the damn thing......"  


and now a word from our sponsors....  


A man in a gray suit sits at a desk. Executive: Hello friends. We here at FUNimation, the same people who have brought quality animation to your living rooms for years; have decided to have this scene cut out due to content. Why you ask? We here at FUNimation care deeply about family viewing. Do not worry. There is nothing here that would've effected the plot. Yes I'm sure some of you all would enjoy seeing Vegeta using his Big Flash and Final Bang moves.... but... simply cannot allow these moves to corrupt our younger viewers out there. Goodnight. And god bless.   


and now back to the following fic....  
  
Vegeta walked down the streets as he flicked off one of the robber's teeth off his shoulder.   
He then notice a light coming from the Son's hotel room. Vegeta lazily flew up towards the window and noticed Goku, Tien, and Chowzu sitting around a "Chutes and Ladders" board game.  
"HEY VEGETA, COME ON IN!!!" smiled Goku as he opened up the window. Vegeta growled. He then sighed to himself. He was too lazy to go around to his room. Might as well take a little rest here.   
"Why are up so late, ,Mister Vegeta?" asked Chowzu as he tugged on his robe. "Bah, I've been looking for four hours straight and it seems that that blasted woman bought every damn Twinkie in this god damn city," muttered Vegeta.  
"Oh, why didn't you say so?" asked Goku as he walked towards his cabinet and pulled a whole box full.   
"Wha... wha....where did you get those!?!" asked Vegeta as sweat began to pour from his temple.   
"Eh, I just bought them over down at the cafe here. Here, you can take them to Bulma. I'm sure'll really enjoy..... Vegeta? COOL!! HEY GUYS LOOK!! I THINK HE'S TURNING SUPER SAIJIAN!!! Hey guys, why are you running out the window. Its just Vegeta...."   


The next morning....  
"Hmmm, Goku's been asleep longer then usual. Its Saturday... he's usual up and watching Power Rangers about now," muttered Chi Chi as she slid out of her bed. She then walked over towards the living room to find Goku spawned face down with his clothes all ripped up and his hair messed up. "GOKU YOU BAKA!!! What have I told you. The living room is NOT to be used for training. *sniff sniff* my poor poor dear Gohan. All my life I want to see him grow up and succeed as great scholar. AND YOU'RE CREATING A BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM!!!"  
"Awww Chi Chi, but I like sparing with Vegeta..... hey could you pop my dislocated shoulder so I can get up and change for the wedding?" pouted Goku as his body twitched a bit.  
"Oh very well... but we're having a talk over your behavior. Hey, I thought Tien and Chowzu was staying over last night?"  
"They said they had to water the plants back at the Western City. I wonder why they didn't wanna spar with me and Vegeta. I mean sure his power level became ten times stronger, but we could've taken him."  
"Uh huh, I'll go tell Master Roshi to go get you a senzu bean so you can walk with those broken legs of yours...." All of a sudden, there was a loud pitched scream.  
"My god, that's Gohan!!! DON'T WORRY!!! MOMMY DEAREST IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!" she cried as she raced up the stairs. Goku slowly floated up.   
"Hey wait up... oh, there goes another tooth.... I'm coming too!!"   
Chi Chi raced inside and flung open the door.  
"WHAT IS IT,GOHAN!!! Did your learning tapes got ate up again?"   
"Its not that mother. Look at this....." he said as he handed Chi Chi a paper.  
"My GOD!!! If Vegeta and Bulma get married, according to the bets you made you will be negative $230. 23!!! NO!!! Maybe we can stop this. Maybe Bulma's water will break...."  
"But she's too early in the pregnancy, mom!!"  
"Eeeppp!! You're right. Well then, maybe we can use the dragonballs and..."  
"Chi Chi.... come on. You can't be serious. I know its odd with Vegeta and Bulma getting married.... but we can't stand in the way of their happiness," spoke Goku in a somewhat intelligent manner.  
"Yes, you're right. Com'n Gohan, you should be getting into your best.... Gohan? Gohan put that cyanide away,"  
"But mom.... $230.23!!!!"  
"Ohhh, I'll buy you an ice cream cone after the wedding,"  
"Hot Damn!!"  
"GOHAN!!! Don't use that sort of language!!"  
"But Topaz989 cusses all the time and no one ever bothers with it."  
"Well..... um.... GOHAN GET INTO YOUR CLOTHES!!! Or we're gonna be late!!!"  
"What about me, Chi Chi?" asked Goku in a painful way.  
"The senzu bean. Right."   
"Hey Mom, I can go get i*"  
"Oh no you won't, mister. You're grounded."  
"YEAH!! I DON'T HAVE TO....."  
"But you are going to Bulma and Vegeta's wedding. And since you are the youngest, you get to be the ring boy."  
"But Mom!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"No 'BUTs'.... now.... how the hell am I going to get to Master Roshi with him on the other side of Los Vegas?.....Hmm, I'll need to borrow that cloud. Gohan, after your done getting into your clothes, help your father. FLYING NIMBUS!!!" A yellow cloud streaked across the sky as Chi Chi jumped on it and flew off.  
"Gee, I didn't know she can do that." said Goku stunned.  


and now a commercial break from your future master of the universe.....  


~Namekian Armor....... 12,000 yen  


~Hiring a Saiyan race to obliterate a few planets.........120,000,000,000 yen  


The look on monkey boy's face when I blew his bald human friend to atoms......   
priceless.....  


For everything else...... there are dragonballs.  


This commercial was brought to you by the friends and family of Freeza and by FUNimation, Quality Anime at its best.   


and now back to The 9 Months Saga.....  


Master Roshi groaned as he got up from his bed. Groggily, he reached out for his sunglasses. "That last lady really put a whollap." he muttered as he grinned in a perverted way.  
"Master Roshi!" a voice yelled out from the window. Roshi put on his glasses and ran to the window to see Chi Chi standing there in her robe.   
Master Roshi began to squint his eyes....  


** RUN DIAGNOSES CHECK.........  
Chest size: 39B  
Weight: Unknown  
Age:35  
Status: Married  
Husband: Goku  
**

Chances of getting ass kicked by husband: %12  
Chances of getting ass kicked by Chi Chi: %110  


Diagnoses: NOT APPLICABLE

"What's wrong, Chi Chi? Isn't that Goku's Flying Nimbus?" he said in a serious tone trying to look like he wasn't staring at her .... features.  
"Oh, that idiot husband of mine and Vegeta went into another spar in the living room.... again....as usual he got his ass kicked because he didn't want to ruin the apolstry with a Kamehameha. I need a senzu bean now."  
"Let me see." Roshi said as he went to his luggage and got out a small pouch. "Here it is. I got a few of these just in case something happens and for the hangovers the boys had." Chi Chi grabbed the pouch, took out the bean, hand the bag back to the man, and flew out.  
"See you at the wedding!"   


Vegeta growled as he put on his tux. "Damn that Kakorot and those Twinkie cravings." He muttered.  
Bulma who was finished with her Twinkies yelled out, "Vegeta! Can you get ready without seeing me?"  
"Why, woman?"  
"It's tradition for the couple to not see each other before the wedding." Bulma stated, "Just stay there and yell out when you're done!"  
"*grumble*bah, pitiful earthling rituals....very well."  
"Great! Do you have the rings!"  
"Yes!"  
"The Elvis impersonator?"  
"Of course!"  
"The tux?"  
"I'm putting it on right now!"  
"Gohan's the ring bearer. Chi Chi is my maid of honor and Daddy's giving me away. Who's your best man?"  
"............"  
"You didn't get a best man yet?!"  
"I had to plan things out in a hurry!" Vegeta yelled out.  
"Okay, just ask one of the guys. Piccolo?"  
"In hell..."  
"Tien?"  
"He's the flower arranger,"  
"Yamcha?"  
"Do YOU want him to be the best man?"  
"You're right.... okay how about Goku."  
"Not after I broke his legs."  
"I'm sure he's forgiven you by n**...."  
"No, I mean this morning."  
"Oh. Well then just go outside and grab the nearest person."  
"Fine fine," he replied as he walked down the street. "I'll just find the nearest baka.... someone.... ahhh perfect," he grinned. "HEY YOU!!!" he shouted.  
"Me?"  
"Yeah, I remember you. Say wanna be my best man?"   
"I don't know," he said as he ran a hand in his lavender hair.  
"Listen, all you have to do, is just stand there and look pretty. I am NOT going to have Kakorot be my best man so that leaves you. Here, I'll even throw in twenty dollars."  
"Sure!!!"   
"Excellent. But first, what is your name, and where did you came from?"  
"I..... can't tell you...."   
Vegeta scowled. "Then, make up a name. Any name will do."   
The man looked up, "How about 'Goten'?"  
"Fine, your name is Goten. Now go rent a tux and meet me at the 30 minute wedding Chapel. I wanted the 3 minute but the woman wanted something a bit more modest. What's not modest of being there for 3 minutes and receiving thirteen dollars worth of poker chips?"  
"Exactly, you can do alot with thirteen dollars worth of poker chips."  
"Kid, I'm beginning to like you," said Vegeta as he gave the man a pat on the back.  
"Heh heh, yeah, I'm one of those types that you could love like a son."  


Bulma rummage through her closet.  
"This can't be happening," she mumbled to herself as she took another bite in her Twinkie.  
"What can't be happening?" asked Mr.Popo as he and Kami flew from the magic carpet and into her bedroom.  
"Mr. Popo, Kami? What are you doing here?"  
"Oh, we figured we might drop by....... you are going to marry him are you?"   
"As soon as I find my wedding dress."  
"Whew, our investment is saved, Kami."  
"But I think I left it back in the Western City. I must've stuck it somewhere while I was packing my Twinkies.... Kami? Are you crying?"  
"*sniff sniff* My money....... wait a sec....... MR.POPO!! GO INTO THE SHIP..."  
"What do you want Mr.Popo to get ,Kami?" asked Bulma as she looked under the bed.  
"Well, maybe you can use my wedding garments?"  
"You were a bride?"  
"Well, yes... and no, you are forgetting that we Nameks are asexual."  
"Do you think it will work?"  
"It should. It worked for Piccolo and Madonna."  
"Madonna is Namekian!?!"   
"Of course. Many of her outfits are the traditional battle armor of the Nameks. She makes us so proud."  
"Wow, who else is Namek?"  
"Well, um, there's Ross Perot, Ben Savage, Natalie Portman...."  
"Akira Toriyama?"  
"Nah, he's just an android that we sent hundreds of years ago to probe the earth when were trying to conquer the planet."  
"Oh."  
Mr. Popo ran as fast as he could with the clothing and a weapon strapped to his back. Bulma picked up the weapon.  
"Ummm, what's this for?" she said as she touched the tip of the giant battle ax.  
"What? You do not believe in beheading the mate as soon as your.... oh dear, Mr. Popo, I do believe earth traditions have changed a great deal since my last visit. But it doesn't matter. You must get into your wedding garments. Wait a second, these are not Namekian."  
"Forgive me Kami. But I ran into this one bearded old man. When I told him I was looking for some traditional wedding garments, he handed me this and said its perfectly natural for the earth women to wear it."  
"Alright, as long as its traditional earth wedding garments, I have no problem with it."  
Narrator: Little did Bulma know, Freeza's third cousin twice remove was watching her movements.   
"So, this is who Vegeta mated with, eh?"  
"I'm afraid so. Pity, I feel dishonored to fight a man who was willing to mate with one who is far weaker then his own," muttered Freeza from the next dimension as he watched another writer from Dragonball GT fry.  
" So should I....."  
"NO!!! Its not time yet. Wait until after she has the child, then we will strike."  
Freeza's third cousin twice removed, nodded his head in understandment as he laid there and continued to analyze her.  


Back at the 30 minute chapel......  
Damn, there are more people out here then I thought. To think when I started I only invited six and now I got over 110. God I can't do this. I always thought I would be destined to travel around conquering planet after planet for Freeza..... now I'm stuck here on this blue marble.... its not too late to stop this. I don't have to be committed. I'm not an earthling like that baka, Kakorot!!!  
"I'M NOT HUMAN!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!"   
"Who were you talking too?" asked the baka... err Goku as he walked towards Vegeta. Goku wore a blue tux with a little white rose while Vegeta's composed of a red rose and a black tux.   
"Was I talking to you? NO!! So just get the hell away from me."  
"That's no way to talk to someone who came to see you two get together."  
"I don't think that's gonna happen. I get married, they will all think of I... the great Prince of Saiyans.... as a......weakling...."  
"Well, I'm married to Chi Chi and no one thinks of me any different."  
Vegeta shifted his eyes, trying to think of a comeback....  
"SO!?!"..... and fails miserably.  
"Com'n, lighten up. Gez, this is starting to feel like the first night we came to Vegas. Are you just embarrassed that you have to kiss her in front of everyone here?"  
"Kiss!?! No one said anything about a KISS!!" Vegeta ran towards a book that was neatly tucked away in the Capsule Corps Car. "Lets see here, "How to get Married"......... eh lets see here.... Namek.... Planet Vegeta..... Kentucky.... ah, Earth......number one: invite everyone to church.... done.... number two: get tux and wedding rings..... number three: Kiss the bride and carry her off to Hawaii!?! No no no.... I'll buy Twinkies for her, I'll save the planet for her, but there is no way I'm gonna kiss her in front of...."  
"...110?"  
"ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PEOPLE!!!"  
"Do you love her?"  
"............"  
"Vegeta.... its a simple question of yes or no.... do-you-love-her?"  
"You're just a third class baka. I do not have to answer to your pitiful questions."  
"Of course.... but you must realize..... I'll get my answer when you two are up there with the preacher."  
Vegeta watched wearily as Goku turned towards his family. He watched as Goku pick up Gohan and placed him on his neck in a piggy back fashion. To think, that will be him, his child and Bulma in a few years.... maybe. He slowly paced himself inside the great church. Food that was once in cased inside little capsules was now a banquet.... thankfully Nameks didn't eat or else there wouldn't be a blasted thing left. His steps echoed throughout the Cathedral. Gifts sat on the table. Reminds him of back when he was a pampered little brat. Ahhh, the old days. He then turned towards the alter. Up above was a stain glass painting. On it showed a woman in blue cloth holding a bleeding man.   
"I remember...." he muttered as he sat on a bench. The blood mixing with his sweat, every day training to become a Super Saiyan. The blast that would've killed him. If she had not let him lay there and die. If she had not treated him day and night. The burst of feelings..... of someone caring for another. He remember the first time he felt it. He hid it, but he didn't want it to go away. It never did, but instead it was bottled up and will soon be released as a newborn child.... his child.   
"VEGETA!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!" shouted Goku as he came running down the aisle.  
"Bah, just when things were actually starting to get serious in this story; what is it now, Kakorot!?!"  
" Its the preacher!! He couldn't come today."  
"WHAT!?!"  
"He kind've ran off...."  
"Let me guess, the Nameks?"  
"Pretty much."  
"WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET ANOTHER PRE*..... wait a second."   
Vegeta walked over towards Chowzu. "Hey kid, you said you were an emperor. Did you ever got two people hitched before?"   
Chowzu turned his head side to side.   
"Me? Oh well, a couple of times."  
"Eh, you'll do. NOW WE CAN WE GET THIS BLASTED THING OVER WITH!!!" shouted Vegeta as he held Chowzu by one foot upside-down.  
"Please don't hurt me. Ohhh, I feel nauseous. Could you please put me down?" cried Chowzu as his hat fell off.  
"You better put the little guy down. Or else you'll make him sick and you won't have a preacher," said a man as he walked inside.  
Goku turned and gasped. His lavender hair was neatly combed back, but Goku knew who he was.   
"How---why are you...." he muttered. Chi Chi turned towards Goku.  
"OH MY GOD!!! GOHAN GET THE MEDICINE!!! GOKU LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE THE HEART ATTACK!!!" she shouted as she ran and shoved Goku to the ground. She ripped off his shirt and flung open his jacket.  
"Chi Chi, I'm***"   
"SHUT UP!! I WON'T LET MY HUSBAND DIE!!!" she shouted as she began to perform mouth to mouth resesitation.   
"Goku's fine. I'm just an old friend that he hasn't seen in awhile," said the man as he turned and walked over to his place near the alter. Chi Chi, with her mouth still on Goku looked up. A large man stood before them.  
"Umm, sweetie, I don't think now is the time or the place to be doing that," said the Ox-King as he giggled a bit. Chi Chi blushed as she quickly got off him and took her seat.   
"Hey Goku, how come you ain't gonna sit with us?" asked Krillan as he leaned against the side.  
"Easy, Bulma, asked me to film the wedding."  


~*~*~*~*~*~

  
_And now for a limited time, we would like to present the wedding in......GOKU-VISION!!!!_  


There's Vegeta over there... hmm, I kind've figured this would be the one time he would actually smile. HEY VEGETA!!! SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!!! VEGETA!! I DIDN'T SAY RAISE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!!! Hmm, I guess he didn't hear me. Oh well. Man, look at all that food. THEY EVEN HAVE COCKTAIL WIENERS!!! Whoops, better focus this thing back inside the church. Hey,there's Gohan. Lets go over and visit him.  
"Oh my god, oh my god, I'm gonna lose. Please please don't go on with the wed.... OH!!Hi Dad!! What are you doing with the camera?"   
"I'm filming the wedding, son."  
"Cool."  
"Hey, are those the rings?"  
"Sure are. Hey, the music's starting!!"  


There's the flower gir*.... whoa... is that....YAMCHA!!! My gosh. I guess he lost at Rock Paper Scissors with Piccolo. *sniff sniff* I wanted to be the flower person but Chi Chi didn't let me.  
There's Trunks up there. Heh heh, I can't wait to show this years later to Vegeta on how he got his own son.... who wasn't even born yet to be his best man. Man, why is Gohan so nervous. I've seen him with more courage against Taurus then here. All he has to do is hand over the rings.   
Hey, Bulma should be coming up. The doors are starting to open........ BULMA!!!   
"Hey Piccolo, I didn't know Nameks dressed like THAT on wedding days."  
"What are you saying?"  
"I mean..... look at her.. she looks like Leia dressed up as Jabba's slave."  
"Hmmm, I thought that was the way you humans dressed for wedding days?"  
"Not really, but she doesn't look half bad in it. Good thing she's only like two and a half months. Or else that outfit...."  
The thought alone makes my spine shiver. Well, back to the wedding.  


"We are gathered......here.... to-br--br...."  
"Bring" muttered Tien as he held Chowzu in front of the bible.  
"Oh yes. Bring these two in holy matrimony. Do you Bulma Briefs take Vegeta.....err Vegeta, as your lawfully wedded husband?"  
"I do," she said as she smiled at him.   
"Chowzu, you were suppose to asked the groom first, you also left out some words. Try to do it right for Vegeta?"  
"Ka.....ummm.... Do you, Vegeta, take Bulma as your awfully wedded wife, to have and to hold till death do you part?"  
Silence.... come on Vegeta.... don't be looking at the ground like that. If you love her, tell her damn it. Look at her!!! *Look at her*   
*I don't know, Kakorot*  
*She's already willing to spend the rest of her life with you.... don't you wanna do the same with her?*  
"I do."  
Whew.... oh crap....*Gohan, quit biting your nails, it's time for you to hand them the rings*  
*But Daddy.......*  
*GO!! Now!*  
*Fine Fine....*   
There's Gohan walking up towards the couple. Hey, what is he saying?  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"psst, now you gotta kiss her!! Pucker up!!"he whispered in Vegeta's ear.  
Vegeta cocked an eyebrow. He turned towards the audience. There looks to be more people here then he thought. Vegeta stared at her for a few seconds. He then looked down at Gohan.... a smile curled his lips. Gohan's eyes widened.  
"Sorry kid.... you lose," he muttered as he dipped Bulma and planted his lips directly on hers. The crowd began to gash as Vegeta held her tightly against her.  
"*sniff sniff* they make such a.... unique couple," cried Mrs.Briefs.   
"YEAH!!! WE WON!!!" shouted the Nameks as they began to over run Gohan.  
Gohan grumbled as a line was formed, paying each one of them.   
Goku stood in the midst of it all. His eyes looked down and widen.  
"HEY GUYS!!!" he shouted. Vegeta stopped his kiss and turned his head towards him.  
"What is it now, Kakorot!?!"  
"Well.... could you two like redo the wedding. I ummm, kind've left the lens cap on," he blushed as he removed it. Vegeta dropped Bulma as a vein bulged from his head.  
"...run....and run FAR.... cause when I get through with you.....". Goku gulped as he immediately ran out of the church. "COME BACK YOU BAKA!!!" he shouted as he chased him outside.  


_So we ended up doing the wedding all over again. This time, we had a real wedding dress, preacher and someone who knew if the lens cap was on or not. Had a nice honeymoon believe it or not. Nothing much happened afterward.... well except for Bulma's late night Twinkie cravings. It was about when Bulma was in her sixth month of pregnancy.... that's when things really started going down the crapper.........._  


Kami's house.....on the beach.....

It was peaceful as the sun burned up above. Vegeta walked along side the beach after a good spar with Piccolo. He turned his attention to his wife laying on the sandy beach.   
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! Its hotter then hell out here. You should be inside with the Central Air instead."  
"Its called 'getting a tan'. Unlike you who was born with it, I have to lay out here to earn mine. I don't want to be pale as a ghost for when our child arrives," she replied as she picked the wedge in her thong. She then pulled out a bottle and began to spread some sun tan oil on her stomach.   
"Looks like you're cooking the thing rather then holding it." Bulma began to laugh, but let out a cry.  
"What... what is it!?!"   
"Gah, the pain, its happening. More stronger then ever....." she screamed as she began to clutch her tummy and cry.  
"Hold on!!" replied Vegeta as he scooped her up in his arms and flew her back to Western City.   


Capsule Corps.......  
Vegeta, still in his trunks, paced back and forth against the cool marble floor. Dr.Briefs came out of the doors.  
"WELL!?!"  
"Well Vegeta, it appears the same thing that happened to Chi Chi.... is in fact happening to Bulma as well."  
"Well is she sick? Dying? ANSWER ME!!!"  
"Oh she's perfectly fine. But the child.....well... its kicking."  
"What? That's it. The baby kicked?"  
"Think about it, Vegeta. That baby's gonna have the strength someday to benchpress a Buick. Ever saw the movie Aliens? Well, the same thing is gonna happen to her, and the child will die with her."  
"You have to do something!!!"  
"I am, but you have to help me. Are you willing to put your life on the line to save this child and her?"  
Vegeta went silent for a second. "Yes... I promised her that the day we got married... again."  
"There are two ways of treatment;the first one involves what Chi Chi did and placed the baby in a chamber till it was time....but of course Bulma wants to have it naturally and in order to do that I need to insert a certain vaccine, it will make the walls of her insides tough enough to take the pressures and pain of having a Saiyan child. But...."  
"But?"  
"The process takes exactly one week. But the baby cannot be present inside. Which means that in order for it to live, it needs to be inside someone else.... the father to be precise...."  


Narrator: Will Vegeta be able to take the pressures of motherhood for one week? What is our main villain, Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed, doing here? What is his plan and why does it involve Vegeta's child? Could there actually be a plot in this story!?! Stay tune for the next Dragonball Z..... The 9 Months Saga. 


	3. THE THIRD TRIMESTER!!!

### 9 Months Saga: THE THIRD TRIMESTER!!! 

Part 4.1: Cha la la Head Cha la la 

"No....no, no no, I AM NOT GOING TO BE PREGNANT WITH A BABY..."  
"But its just for one week. I mean, it ain't like you are going to breast feed it or anything," replied Dr.Briefs as he placed his hands on his waist. "Besides, you did promise Bulma you would do anything for her?"   
"Grrrrrr.... just don't let word of this spread okay?"  
"I won't....."  
"Good!! I'm going to go to the gravity room till you are ready," he said as he turned and walked.  
"..... unfortunately, I won't have to say anything for the others to know when we get through."   


Freeza's third cousin twice removed stared as he overheard the conversation. "The great Vegeta...... PREGNANT!?! MWHA HA HAH!!! Oh, this can't be true," smirked Freeza as the fires of hell erupted.   
"Ahh but it is.... should we go after them now?" asked Freeza's third cousin twice removed.  
"NO!!! I told you, not until the child is out. Do you think it would do me any good if....."  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Jeez take a chill pill. Look I'll wait. But I don't see why we can't attack him. I seriously doubt he'll try a Final Flash or anything. When he's like that," replied Freeza's third cousin twice removed as he watched his royal highness flew over towards a hospital to meet back with Dr. Briefs. Bulma was already laying down in a weird contraption with wires and such all over her ripening stomach.   
"I'm guessing I gotta sit over there," grumbled Vegeta.   
"Oh Vegeta, you won't believe how happy you've made me. When I first heard how my father was going to do the procedure, I didn't think you would...."  
"Wait a second.... how ARE you going to transfer the baby from her to me!?!"   
"Well, son-in-law.... the first thing we are gonna do is take this needle.... don't worry its only three inches long, and stick it up right under the head. That will soften up you stomach long enough to take this artificial chamber up through your..... Vegeta... hmmm, guess I won't have to knock him out after all."  


**_ DAY ONE_**   
Seven hours later........  
Vegeta slowly opened his eyes. His vision felt so blurry as he looked down.   
"Shhh, he's waking up," spoke a voice.  
"How do you feel, Veggie-chan?" said another.  
Vegeta's eyes shifted a bit.   
"Like a meteor just struck me..... huh, why can't I see my feet.... OH GOD.... IT CAN'T BE!!!" he screamed as he got up. There he was laying in a hospital gown. He looked down and noticed how big his stomach was. "FUCK!!" he cussed as he tried to move around.  
"Veggie-chan, isn't this great!! I get to be thin for a week!!" smiled Bulma as she danced around. "Maybe I should let you deliver the baby for me!!!"   
"Uh Uh. NO!! I agreed to do this for ONE week and ONE week only. Damn it, how can you women be able to move with this thing in you!?! I feel like a cow trying to ice skate."   
"Oh Vegeta, don't worry. You'll get use to it. You must remember the male anatomy was not meant to bear children. Besides, it could be worse.  
All of a sudden the door flung open as the sound of a wheel chair filled the air.   
"HONESTLY GOKU!!! I hope that teaches you not to train near the Hydrogen tank!! screamed Chi Chi as another nurse wheeled a bandaged Goku into the room.  
"Awww Chi Chi, I didn't think doing a Kamehameha near it would do much damage."  
"Don't you 'Awwww Chi Chi' me. It was your fault not to read the 'Danger- Flammable gas' sign."  
"Well, Mrs. Son. You know the procedure," replied a nurse as Chi Chi rolled her eyes and grabbed the papers to fill out.   
"Great, not only do I have to spend a week pregnant, I get to spend a week pregnant with Goku in the same room," grumbled Vegeta. Goku looked over.  
"HEY VEGETA!! Man, you've gotten fat since I last saw you. WHAT LUCK!! I get to be in the same room with you. But don't worry. The doctor said I should be out in one week."  
"JOY!" he spoke sarcastically.  
"Good news, I also have some film left from the wedding."  
**_ GOKU VISION!!!_**   
Wave hi to the camera, Vegeta!   
"Oh please, let him leave the lens cap on again."  
Nope! See I was smart for once and took it off this time. Aren't you proud?  
"*grumble grumble*"  
So Vegeta, are you going to get a liposuction or something? Hey, Vegeta, why are you growling? Oh well, hey there's Gohan coming in the room. Awww, he even brought some flowers.  
"Hi dad. Oh hey, Vegeta. Have you gained weight?"  
"If you wanna keep your teeth, I'll pretend I didn't hear that."  
Hey, who's that over there? OH!! Hey Bulma! Did you have the baby yet?  
"*giggle* No silly. I'm going to though. But Vegeta needs to hold it for a week.  
"Really? COOL!! Hey Chi Chi, can you try to have our next kid naturally. I always wanted to hold a baby!! That would be so freggin cool!!"  
"Hmmm, I suppose. But how do you know if we will have another child?"  
Actually I don't. But my Saiyan instincts tell me we will.   
"Oh Goku, you have the instincts of a cow. There is no way we will have a child. We probably got lucky with Gohan."  
Yeah, you are probably right. Hey Vegeta, could you like face the camera more. I want to zoom in on your stomach.  
"Huh?"  
Oh come on. That way everyone years from now will beable to see what you look like during your week of happiness and bliss...........  
  
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhhh*  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~

  
An energy ball flew and nailed the camera.  
"Yow," screamed Goku as he waved his burnt hand.  
"There is NO way, I want to remember this when my son has kids as well," he spoke as he lowered his hand.   
"Oh Mr.Vegeta, its time for you to have your first Ultrasound. Oh aren't you excited!!!" said one of the perky nurses as she grabbed him by the hand.   
"Ultrasound? What the hell is that!?!"  
"Oh don't worry, honey. They're just gonna take pictures of the baby. That's all."  
Vegeta wobbled out of the room and followed the nurse, Chi Chi and Bulma towards the room.   
"Would you like a wheel chair, Mr.Vegeta?" asked a nurse.  
"No, I don't need a wheelchair. I AM THE PRINCE OF SAIYANS..... jesus this is huge hospital. Fine, Fine, I'll take the damn wheelchair," cussed as she opened one up and brought it over to him. As he sat, he watched as people gapped and stared.  
"Look mommy, that guy's gonna have a baby!!"  
"Oh hush up. He's probably fat cause he doesn't get enough exercise or something."  
"But mommy, look at his muscles. They're HUGE!!!"  


Vegeta turned towards the two.  
"What are you looking at. HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A PREGNANT MAN BEFORE!?!"  
The woman gasped as she quickly carried her kid into the office.  
"Bah, stupid bakas."  
"Oh,Mr.Vegeta. We are almost there. Just a couple of more rooms. Ahh here we are," spoke the nurse as she wheeled the chair inside.   
Vegeta sighed. He always heard his mate talk about these things. Oh well, if she's been to more then one, it can't be that bad. Vegeta laid on the bed. The woman opened up Vegeta's gown exposing his belly.   
"JESUS!! I didn't know Dr. Briefs did THAT!!!" he said as he noticed how huge he really was.   
"Hee hee, I didn't know you had an outie, Veggie-chan," said Bulma as she played with his belly button. Vegeta growled as he tried to reach up and grab her neck.  
"Damn.... brat.... can't... reach....gah!!" he screamed as he laid back down.   
"Now I know why god made us women be the bearers of the children," said Chi Chi as the nurse spreads the jell over his stomach. She then placed an instrument over it and moved it around.   
The women gasped and giggled.   
"Oh look, I can see its feet," smiled Chi Chi.   
"There's its hands. My, they are so tiny," replied Bulma.   
"Over here, it looks like the baby is turning," said the nurse as she moved the instrument. Vegeta, with his curiosity piqued rose up to see the screen.  
"THAT'S what we came all this way to do? I don't see anything, just a bunch of shitty lines and static."  
"Oh Vegeta, you're not looking hard enough. Here, Dr. Paine, move the thing to its head. You should defiantly see it," said Bulma as the doctor moved the probe a bit.   
"Hmmm, yeah, I can sort've see it. BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH DAMN STATIC!!!  
"My god!?!" muttered the doctor as she stared at the face.  
"What, what's wrong with my baby!?!" asked Bulma.  
"Well nothing much... its just.... the face." Bulma leaned forward.  
"What's wrong with it?"  
"Well, its frowning."  
"And there's something wrong with that!?!" said Vegeta as he cocked an eyebrow.  
" Unborns,don't display any emotion while still in the womb."  
"Ummm, who said its displaying emotion?" muttered Chi Chi. The Doctor turned towards Vegeta and then at the screen.   
"Oh."  
"Guess now, we know who its gonna look like," smirked Chi Chi as the doctor gasped again.  
"Mrs.Briefs, I think your child may have a defect in him. This is the first time where the umbilical cord is sprouting from both sides."  
"HA!! I KNEW THERE WAS SOME SAIYAN BLOOD IN HIM AFTER ALL!!!" Vegeta pulled his hospital gown back down and started slugging back into the wheel chair.   
"Well woman. What are you just standing there, take me back to my quarters. This load is killing me," he grumbled as Bulma rolled her eyes and pushed his royal highness towards his room.   
**_ DAY TWO_**   


Later.... in the middle of the day......  
Vegeta laid there. He gazed over and watched Goku play "Pokemon Gold" on his Gameboy Color.  
"How can you stand that thing. All it involves is catching a bunch of rodents. For god's sake, there's barely a plot on...."  
"YEAH!! I CAUGHT A JIGGLYPUFF!!!" shouted Goku.   
"Bah, exploiting yourself to mindless entertainment. I swear, you are becoming more and more like an earthling everyday, Kakorot."  
"Do you want to hear it sing, Vegeta?" asked Goku as he held the little handheld in front of his face.   
"No, I-do-NOT-want-to-hear it sing,"Vegeta rolled his eyes as he turned to his side. Pregnant, how could that woman stand to be like this. He's lucky if he could walk to the other side of the room to take a crap.   
Suddenly, a strange yearning began to claim his soul. His mouth went dry as the enigment thought began to roll over and over and clouded his mind.   
"Damn, where am I gonna get a Twinkie at?" he muttered to himself. Heaving himself to a sitting position, he began to concentrate his ki. The bed slowly but surely moved towards the window. His eyes searched.... ah.. perfect.   
"HEY VEGETA!! Where are you going?" asked Goku as he used his ki to move the bed next to him.   
"What does it look like, I'm going to get me some Twinkies."  
"But the doctor said you shouldn't overexert yourself in your condition."  
"Fine Fine."  
"You're in better shape," he stated as he grabbed Goku by the collar and chucked him outside. Goku screamed as his I V came undone and landed smack dab in the middle of the street. Goku rubbed his head as he looked above.  
"AND MAKE SURE YOU GET THE "HOSTESS" BRAND!! ITS YOUR HEAD IF I MUST ENDURE THE GENERIC CRAP!!!" he shouted from above.   
"BUT I DON'T HAVE MONEY!!! DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK I GET PAID TO SAVE THE WORLD EVERYTIME?"   
"oh for the love of kami...... HERE!! TAKE BULMA'S CREDIT CARD!! SHE WON'T CARE!!" he yelled back as he tossed the plastic card out.  
"UHHH, OKAY!!" he shouted back as he picked up the card and gave a thumbs up. Goku limped as walked across the street. Good thing he only had a few broken ribs. Sure it would hurt to walk, but he didn't want to deprive Vegeta of his Twinkie cravings. No, this is a mission. He was the hero of the series. He was the protector of the weak... and the pregnant now. He turned and saw a grocery store.   
"Perfect!!" he said as the doors slid open. "Wow, automatic. We really are becoming more technologically advanced. Heyyyy,that was kind've fun."   
With that, Goku quickly exited and reentered the automatic doors. "Wow, this is so cool!!" he said as ran around again. "I bet Piccolo would get a kick out of this!!" he said to himself as he pranced out the exit and through the automatic doors. He giggled like a school girl as he skipped out the exit again and back through the automatic doors. "Excuse me sir, can I help you?" asked a man. Goku turned.   
"Oh, I'm looking for Twinkies!!"  
"Mmmm, yes, and I'm sure, going around and around the automatic doors are going to help."  
"Oh, heh heh. Ummmmmm, could you like show me where you keep the Twinkies again?" blushed Goku as he rubbed the back of his bandaged head.  
"This way," said the man as Goku followed him. Goku's mouth watered at the sight of all the food. All they gave him was a tiny tray of stuff that was %80 indigestible. He could probably go grab a couple of items. Bulma wouldn't care. She's richer then Bill Gates.  


Back down in the Next Dimension.......  
"COUSIN!!! Now is your chance to DESTROY that pathetic monkey boy while he is injured and off guard," shouted Freeza.  


Back up above.....  
"Right!!" replied Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed. His body slithered down the building. He could already see Goku wandering through the store, gathering various fruits and such. "Prepare to die, you accursed ape!!" he laughed as he shot forward towards the doors preparing to break them. Suddenly they shot open. Freeza's third cousin twice removed just stood there in awe.  
"What are looking at!?! What did I tell you.... Kill him...KILL HIM!!!!!!!!" shouted Freeza as he jumped up and down.  
"But didn't you see that? They opened... on their own..... you didn't even have to push any buttons. These earthlings must me quite advanced," he marveled as he walked out the exit and entered through the automatic doors. "This is so incredible," he murmured as he walked out and reentered again. "WEEEEEEEEEEEE" he giggled as he ran around and around through the automatic doors.  
"Oh for kami's sake.... I should've hired my sister-in-law to help me conquer this damn rock," grumbled Freeza as he watched his cousin play around.  


Back at the Hospital.....  
"Gah, where_is_KAKOROT!?! He should've been back by now with my Twinkies," growled Vegeta as he tore a pillow in half in frustration. "God I got to piss. This is the fifth time since the operation. Has this baby made my bladder shrink or something!?!" he thought as he headed towards the crapper. On his way, he turned towards the window.  
Ahhh, there he is. But why is he pushing a shopping cart!?! How much crap did that Saiyan buy this time. This I got to see. With that, Vegeta slowly floated down towards where Goku was.  
"Ah, hey Vegeta. Here are your Twinkies. Hope you don't mind if I pick up a few items," smiled Goku as he handed him the box. Vegeta's eyes glanced back and forth as he began to rummage through the items.  
"Ding-Dongs...... Ham..... Bananas..... SPAM!?!"  
"It was on sale for 2 for a quarter."  
"Oh. Well at least we will not have to suffer through more hospital food. I guess there is a brain in there after al*..... oh crap.... WHY IS IT WHEN YOU ARE AROUND, SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME!!!" Goku turned and smiled.  
"Oh its just Tien and Chowzu. HEY GUYS!!!" he shouted.  
"Hey Goku. Whoa, is that Vegeta? Man, what happened to you. You realize we have to be in top shape when we battle those androids."   
"Look..... this is gonna sound retarded.... but I am NOT fat.... I'm just...PREGNANT!!! GOT IT!!!!" Chowzu and Tien looked at each other.  
"Ummmm, gee, how are you gonna do a Final Flash like that?" asked Chowzu.   
Vegeta's eyebrow twitched.  
"ISN'T THERE ANYONE IN THIS STORY WHO'S BRAIN IS LARGER THEN A.....gah..."   
"Vegeta, are you all right? Is the baby kicking again?" asked Goku as looked over. Vegeta shoved Goku's hand away.   
"I don't need your help!! I am the great Prince of Saiyans, and I don't want to be babied around like some weak woman!!!" he replied as he floated back to the hospital room with his Twinkies at hand. Goku immediately followed him. "Are you suppose to be a dog or something!?!"   
"Oh come on, Vegeta. I'm your roommate!!"  
"lovely...."  
A nurse then walked in.   
"Mr.Vegeta. Dr.Briefs told me you need to take this serum, this should prevent your body from going into sudden labor if the baby comes out early."  
"Look I don't need..." Vegeta stopped his sentence as he watched Goku's face cringe at the 2 inch needle she held. ".... on second thought, maybe I do need that shot.... but could you do it nice and slow."  
"Of course, Mr.Vegeta. My, this is the first time you've actually been cooperative." Vegeta smirked as Goku started to squeeze on his pillow till it blew up in his hands. "Where on your stomach would you like the needle to be inserted? I suggest the sides since that is where the less pain is located at."  
"No, why don't you place it right in the center. That way it would provide the most..... effective results."  
Goku's eyes were as widen as the needle tip gleamed in the sunlight. Vegeta lifted the hospital gown so the nurse can make a small dot with the marker on where her target should be. The needle came closer, and closer. Sweat began to pore from Goku's temples as Vegeta closed his eyes and began to lightly hum to himself.  
"NOOOOO!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!"  
*BOOM* Went a noise. Vegeta opened his eyes and smiled. The imprint of a man's body was lamented in the wall.   
"Heh heh, that should keep him out for a while," he grinned delightfully to himself. "Mr.Vegeta, do you still want the needle to go through the center of your stomach?" she asked. Vegeta shifted his eyes as the sound of more walls being ran through echoed throughout the building.  
"Nah, just give me the pill and I'll be fine," he replied as the nurse placed the needle away, got out a bottle, and pored out two capsules.

**_ DAY THREE_**   


Back at the Capsule Corps building.....  
"I still can't believe how thin you are, Bulma. Its like you just given birth or somethin'. More ice tea, Chi Chi?" asked Mrs.Briefs as she held the pot.  
"No thanks," she replied as she held her hand up. "So Bulma, are you saying it's possible for us to have a Saiyan child naturally? "  
"Sure is. But I suggest you do the procedure before hand. I can't sleep with the thought that I placed my baby in Vegeta's stomach."  
"Well. At least all that pride is what will keep the baby alive," replied Chi Chi. "What do you mean?"  
"Well think about it, do you think the great prince of saiyans, would let word that he let one of his own die within him?"  
"Yeah, good point. Heh heh, you know what? I always wonder... will me and Vegeta, be together... forever? We aren't exactly of the same blood. Wish he would tell me he loved me, once in a while."  
"Same here, but I always wonder if Goku.... and I.... will grow old together. You know. Ever since he died and came back or when we thought he was dead on Namek... I'm always afraid I would lose him. But then again.... could you imagine what would life be like...."  


_50 years..... Chi Chi's Fantasy....... In some retirement home....  
A little girl with her hair all whirled up in a black cream puff manner walked in. An old woman with grayish lavender hair walked towards her and hugged her.  
"Hello Grandma Bulma, I brought you some prewty flowers," she smiled.   
"Ahh that's so sweet of you Vejita. How come your brother Vegeta III. isn't here?"  
"Oh, big brother went up and had to help GokuIV save the world again. Don't worry. They said they should be back by supper time."  
*sigh* "I hope so. you know your father becomes quite upset if he doesn't get to have dinner on time......"  
"WOMAN!!! DAG NABBET!! WHERE'S MY STRAINED CARROTS AT!?!!!" shouted a high pitched voice.  
".... unfortunately its even worse for your grandfather," she muttered as little Vejita giggled. The two walked inside another room where a bald old man with wide glasses sat at a table, wearing a bib. A raven haired woman, apparently was feeding him.  
"Now now Krillan. Open up so the choo choo can enter the tunnel. Oh? Why Chi Chi. Its so good to see you after all these years. How's Goku?"  
"Oh he's just all fine and dandy. Just as long as he has Pokemon Fuscia and Beige, he'll be all right."  
"WOMAN!!! BRING ME MY DINNER!!!HOW WILL I BECOME STRONGER THEN THAT BAKA, KAKOROT IF YOU WASTE YOUR TIME JIBBER JABBERING!?!" shouted Vegeta.  
"Oh for the love of.... I still can't believe he's still trying to outdo Goku. The only move he has left is to whack him on the head with his cane."  
"CHI CHI!!! HURRY!!! I NEED ANOTHER SET OF BATTERIES SO I CAN SAVE THE GAME FROM WHERE I CAUGHT MURAIPUFF!!!" shouted Goku.   
"BULMA!!!!! CAN YOU HAND ME THE REMOTE!! I DROPPED IT IN THE SOFA AGAIN!!" Tien complained.  
"Chi Chi, can I have more pureed rice?" asked Krillan.  
**"CHI CHI!!! MY BED PAN IS OVERFILLING AGAIN!!" **cried Piccolo.  
_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


The two women gasped at the horrible vision.   
"I hope they don't turn into a bunch of Z-Babies when they grow old," muttered Chi Chi as she shuttered at the thought.  


**_ DAY FOUR_**   
Freeza's third cousin twice removed soared through the air. The lab had to be here somewhere. His fuschia eyes rummaged through the area.   
"THERE IT IS!!" he shouted as he quickly dropped altitude and landed in the dense mountain scape. He walked over towards the door and gave it a brief knock.   
An eye panel slid open.  
"Are you Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed?" asked the old man as his eyes narrowed.  
"I am."  
"Come in. We can discuss business there," he spoke as he opened the large, metal plated door. Dr.Gero carefully held the torch as Freeza's third cousin twice removed walked through.  
"Oh, by the way, why are you carrying that thing. I mean, the light switches are right over there?" he asked.  
"Eh, gives it a more haunting atmosphere and makes me look more scarier," he replied as they descended down the.... um....escalator.   
Freeza'sTCTR turned his head towards an odd machine.  
"Is that what the child is for?" he asked as he stared at the various forms of lasers that pointed towards a chair.  
"It is. It will be my greatest masterpiece I have ever conceived. It fascinates me at the kind of tools your race uses. Never in a million years would I be able to create something quite like this. Now, what else was it that you needed?" asked Dr. Gero as he pulled out a cigar and lit it.  
"I CAN TELL YOU THAT!! I NEED SOMETHING MORE RELIABLE TO DESTROY GOKU THEN MY IDIOT COUSIN HERE!!" shouted Freeza from the next dimension.  
"Uhh, Freeza said he wanted somemore help in killing Goku so no one can stop me from kidnapping the child when it is conceived," replied Freeza's TCTR as he turned towards Gero. Gero closed his eyes as he placed his hands behind his back.   
"I may have something that might pique your interest. You may use it in anyway you please as long as its used to kill Goku. Its sleek body resembled the human model but without the skin. "Its name is #17 Beta. I have another just like it along with a female version. This way I will get to see how well my androids will fair and any modifications needed to make them the perfect assassins," laughed Dr.Gero as he pressed a few buttons.   
Its eyes glowed a bright red as the its engines slowly began to hum.  


And now a commercial break from one of our sponsors......  


In the middle of a living room.... two little nameks lay on their stomachs......  
** on video: ** Now its time to send you to the Next Dimension  
** Dende and Cargo:** *sigh*  
** Narrator: ** Gee, what's wrong Chibi Dende and Cargo  
** Dende and Cargo:** *sigh* WE'RE SICK OF THESE DUBS;THEY JUST PLAIN SUCK!!  
** Cargo: ** Krillan sounds like he has a nasal problem  
** Dende:** and they cut out all the blood and gore.  
** Cargo and Dende:** We want NEWWWWWWWW Episodes  
** Narrator: ** Then why don't you try the new Subbed versions of Dragonball Z.  


Later....  
** Dende:** WHOA!! SO THAT'S HOW YAMCHA GOT THAT HOLE IN HIS STOMACH!!!  
** Cargo: ** I don't see nothing wrong with his foot. Why the hell did they put a rock by his toe.  
** Cargo and Dende: ** THANKS NARRATOR!!!   


** Narrator: ** Yes Subbed. All kids love Subs.   


** Chorus:** (authour note: sung to "LOG" from Ren and Stimpy)  
What, is uncut,   
that shows gore and guts  
but what censorship won't allow  


Buy them on the net  
Each separate or set,  
CAUSE ITS SUBBED, SUBBED, SUBBED!!!  


ITS SUBBEDDDD, ITS SUBBEDDDD,   
Edited, I think not  
ITS SUBBEDDDD, ITS SUBBEDDDD,  
Shows how badly FUNimation  
FUCKED UP!!!  


You're gonna love a sub.   
Come on and buy a sub  
Everyone loves the subbed,  
Come on and get your sub, sub, sub  


** Narrator: ** Batteries not included.  
*Do do do do do do do*  


and now back to the 9 Months Saga......  


**_ DAY FIVE_**   
The day broke as Vegeta laid in the hospital bed. Five days..... five days since he had to spend every single minute.... with him...... look at him. Sleeping peacefully. He could be out training in the Gravity Room but instead is forced to put up with his constant bickering....is he waking up?  
"Hey Vegeta?"  
"What is it now, Kakorot!?!"  
"Do you miss, Bulma?"   
"Why do you want to know?"  
"Cause I miss Chi Chi."  
"Why!?! You've been away from her, for about one and a half years at one time. Why do you miss her now?"  
"I've always missed her. Even during those times, I missed her. I never showed it. I couldn't or Freeza would know how much I care about my family and attempt to go after them. You'd be surprised how much your family's gonna turn you around. You'll find that they will become your only strength, when hope is gone and the odds are against you, and you realize you must fight for them and only them."  
"Kakorot?"  
"Yes, Vegeta?"  
"That was the most retarded quote I have ever heard."  
"Yeah, you're right. Man I've been reading too much Reader's Digest." Vegeta widen his eyes a bit.   
"You know how to read?"  
"Oh yeah,I'm working on "War and Peace".... maybe a bit of old Greek manuscripts. My favorite book is anything by Dr.Suess. Especially "Hop on Pop" and 'How the Grinch stole Christmas'." Vegeta sighed.  
"Just when I thought there was something, more then air... wait a second.... what was that!?!" asked Vegeta as he grabs a bar to help pull himself forward. Goku turned as he hopped out of bed, quickly pulling off the various equipment hooked on him. His breath was silent as a smooth humming was heard. Goku began to power up an energy ball as the humming grew louder and louder.   
*BOOM* A hand shot right through the wall and grabbed Goku by the throat. His fingers tensed as desperately tried to free himself. Vegeta quickly powered up his own ki blast and shot at the hand, severing it from its owner. It then pulled out the rest of its wrist and appeared from the window. Its sleek metal glistened against its the sun. Its eyes met up with Vegeta's.

***Target identified:..........   
NAME:Vegeta  
RACE: Saiyan  
ORDERS:Do not harm until specimen has been taken.**

With that, #17 beta motioned over towards Goku who laid on the floor, as he pulled the dissected hand off.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! FIGHT ME DAMN IT!!! JUST BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT DOESN'T MEAN YOU MUST IGNORE ME!!" shouted Vegeta. The android scanned Goku.

**NAME: Goku  
AGE: 35  
IQ: ....... not applicable  
Orders: Destroy at will.**

Goku looked as several Missiles began to pull out of the android an point at him.  
"Uh oh, this is gonna hurt,' he replied as they all shot at him at once and knocked him out the window. Goku fell.... the air seemed as if it was rising, then a miracle happened.  
**"GOTCHA!!"** Goku turned and saw Piccolo holding him by the end of his gown.   
"Hey Piccolo. Wow, how did you get to me so fast?" he asked.  
**"Eh, I read the first draft of this story,"** he replied as he turned towards the sleek machine.  
It narrowed its eyes.

** NAME: Piccolo.  
RACE: Namek  
Preferred choice of chewing gum: Juicy Fruit  
ORDERS: Kill him anyway and turn into matching luggage.**

  


**"Yeah, I thought you would try something like that,"** smirked Piccolo as he read what it was planning from my first dr***....hold on..how the hell did he grab a copy of it!?! Piccolo turned towards the android and flew straight into the android. With the blink of an eye, tore out several wires from its chest cavity. It twitched, as sparks flew from the long copper tips with a dazzling aurora. Its red eyes blinked as its memory began to scramble beyond identification. Finally, it crumbled down upon its knee joints and the lights that once buzzed all round began to fade into a nothingness.   
Goku slowly shook his head from the impact as he watched the nursing Vegeta repeatedly kick the bot.   
"YOU STUPID TIN CAN!! WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT ME!!! HOW DARE YOU REFUSED TO ATTACK ME, THE GREAT PRINCE OF SAIYANS, AND GO AFTER A PATHETIC THIRD CLASS SOLDER!?!" he shouted as he placed his hands on his hips. All of a sudden, he clutched his stomach.  
"VEGETA!! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!!" screamed Goku as he ran towards him.   
"Jesus, no wonder that woman wanted me to hold this thing. I can already feel it shooting ki blasts inside me. He said as Goku watch his stomach brighten from the energy of the Ki blasts to the point where he could see the baby as if a mere veil of silk was placed on top of it.   
Vegeta floated back to the hospital. He was deeply surprised at how much energy this little brat was sapping out of him. He needed something to eat. Goku was to follow him as well, but a familiar green clawed hand grabbed his shoulder.  
**"Did you see that?"** mumbled Piccolo.  
"Yeah, Trunks, is gonna be pretty powerful when he gets older."  
**"Exactly. But why did the android go after you instead of Vegeta. You HEARD what he said. That child is sapping his ki, making Vegeta very weak. That cyborg had the chance but went after you as if avoiding Vegeta completely."  
** "Are you saying that walking toaster didn't want Vegeta touched? Weird."   
**"I will be watching this hospital to insure no more attacks happen while you and Vegeta are in your *cough* condition." **  
"Thanks."   
**"Don't mention it. Just insure Vegeta gets some good sleep so that baby won't come into the world with a bad temper."  
** "Heh heh, don't mention it," he replied as Piccolo pulled him back into his room. 

**_ DAY SIX_**  
Dr. Gero examined his results.   
"Five Minutes!?! My life's work..... lasted only FIVE minutes against a some Cabbage man named after a flute!?!" he cried as his fingers began to wrinkle the piece of paper.   
"So the bot, was a complete failure. We're the bad guys, we're suppose to lose," replied Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed as he folded his arms and leaned against the doorway. "Besides, like you said, at least now you can get rid of some of the flaws that were encompasses in the Beta version. Dr.Gero turned his aged head towards him.   
"You're right. The first thing I want out, is these energy absorbers and just replace the blasted generator with an eternal battery." Dr. Gero quickly moved towards his two sleeping androids as he began to unscrew their panels and place an item inside.   
"WHOA, IS THAT A BOMB!?!"   
Dr.Gero turned towards his paled faced friend.  
"Of course its a bomb. I don't think it would help if I placed an alarm clock inside them."  
"But....... why?"  
"Because..... if for some odd reason, after all the adjustments I make on these two, that they are unable to beat Goku. Then I'll merely blow him up and everyone within a five mile radius."  
"Man, no wonder Cousin Freezy wanted to have you help me execute his plan."  
"Cousin Freezy? HAH HAH HA!!" "My god, no wonder, Vegeta's brat turned you into sushi!!" laughed the Ginyu Force from the next Dimension.  
"GAH!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE MY HIGH SCHOOL NICK NAME IN PUBLIC!?!" shouted Freeza as his face began to glow bright red.  
"Sorry, it just.... slipped," muttered Freeza's third cousin twice removed.  
"Who are you talking to?" asked Dr.Gero as he adjusted the controls.  
"Oh, just to Freeza from the pits of hell. Not much."  
"Oh okay, just talk more quietly. I need all the concentration I can...."  
"HEY!!! WATCH WHERE YOU PLACE YOUR HANDS AT!!!" shouted #18 as Dr.Gero drops the screwdriver inside her.  
"Gah, now look what you made me do. Damn it, I knew I should've stuck with the your former 'damsel in distress' model," he murmured as he dug the little tool out.   
"Oh well, At least I didn't wind up as 'fat-ass #19'. " replied #18.  


###### "I'm not fat. I'm just pleasantly plump,"

muddled #19.  
"Oh please, we had to widen the front door six inches just to hall ya to the testing range," mumbled #17 as Dr.Gero began to remove the absorbers off his hands.  


###### "Dr.Gero, #17 is picking on me. Make him stop!!!!!" 

whimpered #19.  
"#17........."  
"He's such a big baby," spoke #18 as she pushed a lock of artificial blond hair.  


###### "Am not!!"  


"Are too."  


###### "AM NOT!!"  


"ARE TOO!!"  
"WILL YOU TWO HUSH UP!! I feel like I'm baby-sitting you, rather then reconfiguring you. #19, you and my upcoming #20 model will be left with the energy absorbers in case #17 and #18 need the opposition needs to be weakened.  


**_ DAY SEVEN_**   


Bulma stood in front of the mirror. Last day before she has to have the baby inside her. Her small black dress that she normally had for parties was on. She knew she won't be this way for months. In a way though, she has grown so attached to the baby. Poor Vegeta. She felt a bit sorry for him. Pride was the thing that meant the most to him; and its taken a serious beating since she became pregnant.   
"*sigh* Well, back to the hospital," she mumbled as she walked towards her closet to get changed into some maternal clothes. She was suprised that the chemicals that her father gave her didn't made her sick. Although she could do without the half a dozen needles each night, it would be well worth it to see her hubby's face when he gets to pass the child back to her.  


Back at the hospital..........  
"Vegeta?"  
"NO, You will NOT touch my stomach just to feel it fire another ki blast," said Vegeta as he searched for the TV remote.   
"PLEASE!!!!!"  
"You can touch Bulma's belly when she has the little brat in her."  
"Okay."  
Vegeta wheezed. He already felt overexerted and he hasn't really done anything yet. The child was draining his energy, more and more everyday. Dr.Briefs told him that by the time they get through with Bulma, they will be able give the child healthy doses of energy from a generator so that it won't suck her dry of what little energy she has.   
"Mr. Vegeta, your wife is here. We will be taking one more ultrasound before we proceed on the transfer," replied a nurse as she quietly opened the door.  
"Finally," he murmured as Bulma walked in.   
"Hey sexy," she joked as she looked down at his swelling stomach.  
"............."   
"*sigh* Still the same Vegeta. I'd think you'd change after holding something that we created..... our own joy and happiness."  
"Nah, that only happens in sappy fics. NOW BRING ME TO THAT DAMN ULTRA-THING-A-MA-JIG THING!! The sooner I get this thing out of me, and the sooner I get out of this room with Kakorot!!! That damn jigglypuff's singing is driving me CRAZY!!!!"  
"But its so cute. Wanna hear it again?" asked Goku as he pressed the a button on his Gameboy.  
_*Jiggggggllllyyyy pufff, jigggllllyyyyyyyy pufffff _***BOOM***   
Smoke rose from Vegeta's hand as it fired a ki blast and fried the piece of plastic.  
Goku began to grow teary eyed as Bulma wheeled Vegeta out of the room. His eyes welled as he turned towards the melted shards of plastic. All of a sudden, they lit up.  
"Oh well, I'll just play my N64 version!!" he smiled as he pulled out the system and began to frantically hook it up to the TV.  


In the Ultrasound Room.....  
"So why are we in here now?" asked Vegeta as the nurse placed more of the cold gel on him.   
"Well, your, wife figured it was time you knew the gender of your child."  
"Well you might as well save the $360 bill. Its gonna be a boy," he replied.  
"How do you know?" asked Bulma as she cocked her head in his stubbornness.  
"Because I carried this thing for about a week. If I say its a boy. ITS A BOY!!"  
"Well, 'I' carried it for '24' weeks!!"  
"Yeah, when it was about the size of a pea, and had the brain of Kakorot."  
"Look, just don't be stubborn. Let the woman prove to you that its gonna be a girl and...."  
"IT IS NOT A GIRL!!!"   
"Ummm, Mrs.Briefs? He's right. It ain't a girl. It looks like its gonna be a boy..... with what looks like a tail growing from the back."  
"Told you. My Saiyan sense is very accurate." Vegeta said smugly.  
"Oh well." she grinned, "I got a good idea on what to name the baby. I always kinda wanted to name a baby this name."  
"What?"  
"Let's call him 'Goku'."  
"WE'RE NOT NAMING OUR SON AFTER KAKOROT!!!" Vegeta yelled out.  
"Yes, we are!" Bulma exclaimed, "He's the reason we met! I mean, he did attract you to Earth... and he did save your life from Krillan."  
Vegeta frowned and then he said, "We're still not calling him 'Goku'."  
"It's not like that you will call Goku and baby Goku by the same name."  
"We're calling him Vegeta."  
"No Goku."  
"Look, lets just wait until you pop this thing out and then we'll name the brat."  
"Fine."  


###### "But his name will be Vegeta."

  
**

#### "I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!"

**  


  
_Our fight over what our future son's name lasted months on end. You should have seen my face when I finally got out of that blasted hospital without that brat. Bulma's sudden pains were gone. I thought it was gonna be on easy streak from then on.... you know, Bulma goes to hospital at the end of the 9 months.... Bulma delivers baby, give it a name, yadda yadda yadda. Unfortunately......_

Eight and a half weeks later.....on Thanksgiving Day.....  
At the Son's residence........  
"Oh Bulma, so glad you could come for dinner!!" spoke Chi Chi as she opened the door as Vegeta followed afterwards.  
"HEY VEGETA!! WOW, I never thought you liked wearing ties," said Goku as Vegeta turned a bright red.  
"I don't....."  
The dinner table was lavished with food. Enough to feed forty men.....or three Saiyans, one woman, and Chi Chi. Gohan carried the huge turkey and placed it on the table.  
The two families sat side by side.  
"Gohan, since you are the youngest... would you like to say grace, son?" asked Goku.   
"Sure dad, Ummm, Dear Kami, bless all that lives, bless those who we've never met and our eternal respect for the Z-Fighters who have fallen in combat. And, I'll give you the 10 bucks I owe you next week....."  
A bolt of lightning came down from the sky and struck a tree.  
".....umm, make that tomorrow."  
"LET'S EAT!!!" shouted Goku as he took his hand and karate chopped the bird in two. Goku grabbed one side while to everyone's surprise, so Bulma grabbed the other.  
"My god, woman, YOU'RE GONNA EAT MORE THEN I WILL!!"   
Bulma blushed, but suddenly grabbed her stomach.  
"....vegeta...." Vegeta turned towards her as she began to take heavy breaths. He saw this at those weird classes he had to take with her.  
"...no.... BUT ITS ONLY EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS!!!"  
".....vegeta..... its time......"  


A pale body, with a long tail watched the group..... and smiled. The hour of Freeza is about to arise.  


Narrator: Oh my, looks like Vegeta's gonna be a father early then expected. But what is up with Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed? What does he want with Vegeta and Bulma's son? Find out, in the final part of this long(and virtually pointless) series. The 9 Month's Saga: ITS LABOR TIME!!! 

  


_Brought to you by FUNimation. Quality Anime at its best._


	4. ITS LABOR TIME!!!

### 9 Months Saga: IT'S LABOR TIME!!!

  


"YOU CAN'T HAVE THE BABY NOW!!! ITS ONLY 8 and a 1/2 weeks. THERE WAS A REASON THEY CALL THIS THE _NINE_ MONTHS SAGA!!!" replied Vegeta as Bulma continued to moan.   
"VEGETA!! WE GOT TO GET TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!! NOW!!!" she shouted as she kicked her legs.   
"Fine, fine.... god. What ever happened to getting a pail of water and sticking your hand to grab the little bugger," he muttered as he grabbed Bulma and flung her over his shoulder. He aimed his hand towards the ceiling and blasted it away. The bottom of Vegeta's feet began to fill with ki when......  
"MY KITCHEN!!!" screamed Chi Chi as she cringed from the falling plaster and pieces of burnt timber. Vegeta grinned as he politely turned instead and walked out the door to fly to the hospital.  
"COME ON, CHI CHI!! Let's call the others so they can be there," replied Goku as he got on the phone.  


At Master Roshi's.........  
Krillan sat contentedly on the sand as he slowly meditated. The peaceful wind brushed against his face as he endured the pure serenity.  
*Bringggg*   
"Eh, hey my cell phone. YO!! Krillan here. What's up?" he said as he pulled it out of his uniform and flipped it open.  
* Hey Krillan, guess what. BULMA'S GONNA HAVE A BABY!!!*   
"Really? Right now!! COOL!! I'll be there as soon as possible!!!" he said as he closed it. "Gee, I better go and tell Master Roshi and Turtle," he said as he ran inside the house. "Master Roshi? MASTER ROSHI!!!"  
"WILL YOU PIPE DOWN IN THERE!! I'M ON THE CAN!!ooooohhhh, Mrs.July...YUM!!!"   
Krillan's face soured. "BUT MASTER ROSHI!! BULMA'S GONNA HAVE A...."  
"QUIET!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M..... UHH.... STUDYING!!!!"  
"BUT MASTER ROSHI!!!!!!"  
"NOT NOW BOY!!"  


  
In Tibet........  
*Bringggggg* *Bringggggggg* *Bringggggggg*  
*Hi This Tien*  
*AND CHOWZU!!!!*  
We are not here right now*  
*Just leave a message, at the sound of the beep*  
*Beep*  
*HEY GUYS!! This is Goku. Guess what? VEGETA'S GONNA BE A DADDY!!! Meet us at "Last Chance" Hospital. Whoa, this thing is recording my voice....   
COOL!!! Hey wanna hear my impression of Darth Vader? ~Luke... I-AM-YOUR-FATHER!!!!~  
PRETTY COOL, huh? OH OH!! YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR THIS SONG!!! ITS BY BRITNEY SPEARS!!!  
~Opps I, Did it again.~  
~I played with your heart~  
~Got lost in this game~  


5 hours later........  
*And then Mistique leaped forwards towards Wolverine and.....*  
"Hello? Goku? Is that you?" asked Tien as he picked up the phone.  
*Hey Tien, aww I was gonna get to the good part.*  
"Its okay Goku, so what did you want to tell me?"   
*Bulma's gonna have her baby.*  
"Really? I thought she wasn't due for another two weeks."  
*That's what I thought, but she's having it.*  
"K, I'll see ya there," replied Tien as he placed the phone down.   
"HEY TIEN!! Someone left a message for us. Lets go listen to it before we go. It probably won't take that long........" said Chowzu as he pressed the button.  


In the Artic......  
**_ "Eh, my beeper's going off," muttered Piccolo as he looked down. "Hmmm, its Goku. Gah, I hope he ain't calling to ask which way to twist open the bottle of Pepsi again. Hmmm, Bulma's having Trunks already!?! Weird. This fic says 9 months but she's about to have it in 8.5. Oh well, off to Hallmark to fetch a card,"_** he muttered as he flew off.  


In the sky......  
"Oh Veggie-Chan..... isn't the sky just beautiful. The sky looks as if its painted with all sorts of colours..... molding into some dream that....."  
"BULMA!!! Didn't you read your script!!! You are SUPPOSE to be in labor. GAH, now I lost where I'M at!!!" replied Vegeta .  
"Oh sorry about that....wait... YOU CALLED ME BULMA!!!*gasp* YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME!!"   
" ..........." he growled.   
The hospital was in view. All he needed to do was take her to the ward and the doctors will take care of the rest. His hands sweated as he carried his mate across Western City. He could sense its ki inside, yearning to be freed..... that and her nickels and dimes falling from her pocket as he descended down towards the hospital.   
"YOU BAKA!! THAT WAS AN UNCIRCULATED New Delaware quarter!!!" she shouted as she slapped him. Vegeta growled to himself as he landed over at the hospital and kicked the door open. Bulma cringed and moaned as she laid in his arms. "...are you all right?" he whispered.   
Down at the hospital.....   
"WHERE'S THAT DOCTOR!!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW ANY SECOND!!" shouted Vegeta as he blew up the double doors. Patients gasped as a the midget Saiyan. "........."growled Vegeta.   
OKAY.... the _semi-below-the-height-of-an-average-human_ Saiyan carried his wife over his shoulder. He then ran over towards the receptionist as he placed Bulma in a wheel chair. A teenage intern walked over and grabbed Vegeta by the arm.   
"Excuse me, are you the maternal father of the child?" she asked as she blew a bubble.   
"Yeah," he replied.   
"You need to like, fill out these forms in like triplicate. That way you can see your baby. K? You can be there. And like the doctor.... he is sooo fine. Gee, I hope this one survives. Oh well, 2 out of six ain't bad."   
"Are those who that died?"   
"Oh no, those are like what survived. But you should see his car. It is like totally phat. Its like a cute little convertible with primo stereos and....."   
Vegeta immediately ran towards the ward and grabbed Bulma.   
"WE'RE GOING TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL!!!" he said.   
"Mister Vegeta, THIS WOMAN IS ABOUT TO HAVE A CHILD!!! You cannot wait anymore."   
Vegeta rolled his eyes as he let Bulma. He sighed as he walked over towards a seat and sat down.   
"You just stay there. We'll tell you when its time, maybe later you can help deliver the child, K?" said the intern as she handed him the forms. Vegeta shook his head as he proceeded to the task.   
"Hmmm, lets see here....... name of mother..... Bulma. Now....... Male or Female..... WHAT!?! Of course she's gonna be FEMALE!!! Did they actually think that I was...... oh okay never mind..... Age..... hmmmm, she always told me she was 25..... she looks two hundred and six..... but then again she's human.... eh, I'll just put ninety-eight."  
A man with lavender hair walked over and sat next to him.   
"I think she's turned thirty-one last July if I'm right," he said as he picked up a newspaper and crossed his leg.  
"Huh.... oh yeah, that's right...... HEY!! How did you know that?" asked Vegeta as the man held the paper infront of his face.  
"You paid me twenty bucks to pick up an edible cake, remember?" he replied as he turned the page.   
"Oh yeah, now I remember. So why are you here?" he asked.  
"Eh? Oh, I came here to have one of my kidneys taken out," he replied behind the newspaper.  
"Lovely," he spoke as he continued on filling out the forms. Suddenly....  
"HEY VEGETA!! WE'RE HERE!!!" shouted Goku as the other Z-Fighters entered the room. "Guess what? MY JIGGLYPUFF EVOLVED TO LEVEL 23!!!"   
"......WILL YOU SHUT UP!! FORGET ABOUT YOUR GOD DAMN JIGGLYPUFF FOR ONE MOMENT!!! THAT WOMAN'S HAVING MY CHILD IN THERE!!!"  
Goku looked shocked.  
"Really? You mean, at THIS moment, and not just waiting?"  
"*sigh*Yes Kakorot.... right....NOW!"   
"My gosh......"  
"Mister Vegeta, its like almost time. Please come in here to change."   
"....Hey Vegeta? Can I come too? Please!!!!!!" begged Goku.  
"........."  
"I'll show you my level 23 Jigglypuff!!!"  
".........."  
"Ummmm, I...won't show you my level 23 Jigglypuff?"  
"WELL, WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE!!! HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED!!!" he shouted as the two Saiyans ran towards the dressing room.   
"GAH!!!*breath breath breath* WHERE IS HE!?!" shouted Bulma as sweat poured over her face.   
"He's coming, Mrs.Briefs. Now push!!"   
"I CAN'T!!! IT FEELS LIKE THIS BABY'S TRYING TO SHOOT ITSELF OUT!!!" she cried. Vegeta and Goku ran inside the room. Vegeta, to Bulma's surprise, grabbed her hand.   
"Bulma, PUSH!!" cried the doctor.   
"Wait a second. Let me get the camera out."  


_**GOKU VISION!!!!!!!  
**_ Now hold that pose you two.... focus......focus......  
"KAKOROT , WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?! THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE FOR THE GOKU-CAMERA!!!"   
"Hi Mom, Hi Daddy. I'M HAVING A BABY!!!"   
Bulma, could you lift up your gown so I can get a head shot.  
"KAKOROT!!!!!"  
Yo, Doc. Can you tell the viewers what you are doing?  
"Why of course. You see Mrs.Briefs is about to give birth to her first child. The child will be entering through this passageway and....."  
"KAKOROT!!! THIS IS NOT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!! GET THE CAMERA OUT OF HERE!!!"  


~*~*~*~*~*~  


"Shoot. The batteries died," replied Goku as he opened the panel. Bulma screamed as she began to squeeze Vegeta's hand.   
*crack*  
"MY GOD WOMAN!!! I'VE HAD METEORS THAT HURT BROKE LESSER BONES THEN......" mumbled Vegeta as he clutched his hand.   
"Com'n Vegeta. Lets get you a senzu bean," said Goku as the two walked out.   
Vegeta and Goku walked down the passageways....   
"Look Mommy, its that pregnant man again..... and he's all thin again!!!" cried the little girl. The woman looked towards the two Saiyans.   
"Ummmm, congratulations, are you the father?" she asked as she shook Goku's hand.   
"Uh........."  
"DAMN IT GOKU!! QUIT GAWKING AROUND!!! MY HAND HURTS AS HELL AND I NEED A SENZU BEAN, NOW!!!" cried Vegeta as pulled Goku by the collar.   
"*sigh*Is there anyone normal left on this planet?" she murmured. She walked into the waiting room and saw Piccolo, Tien and Chowzu. "....never mind..." she muttered as she dragged her daughter out of the hospital.   


Bulma cried out somemore as she continued to push and push. Suddenly, a sharp crying aroused the room. The doctor slowly wrapped the child in warm soft towels.  
"Congratulations, its a healthy,Saiyan, boy," he replied. Bulma relaxed as she closed her eyes for a second. She held her arms awaiting for her own child to enter her arms. The doctor and nurse smirked at each other.   
"Can I see my child?" she asked.  
".....why?" asked the doctor as the child began to cry. Her eyes widened.  
"Wait a second..... how did you know it was Saiyan?"  
"Good Question," he smirked as his face morphed. His pale skin and long tail slithered as Bulma began scream. The nurse walked over towards Bulma and jabbed a needle in her.   
Bulma's eyes dilated as she slowly closed her eyes and laid there. Freeza's third cousin Twice Removed walked over towards the door.   
"You didn't kill her, did you?" he asked. "Just knocked her out. And yes, she hasn't seen it yet." "Good. Make sure you replace the baby with another. Heh heh, god I love being a shape shifter," he murmured as he morphed back into a doctor and exited the room with the child.   


Later......  
Vegeta and Goku entered the room. His hand was all bandaged up as he gasped. Everyone crowded infront of the window as an awkward looking nurse rolled the child in the maternity room.  
"THIS AIN'T MY CHILD!!!!" he bellowed. Goku walked over towards the glass.  
"Well, I dunno. It sure does look alot like you. I mean, its a boy, the hair is like a cream puff form like yours.....  
"Oh yes.... it would look like me..... IF I WAS FROM AFRICA!!!!" he said as pointed out to the Negro child.   
"Whoa..... you mean someone kidnapped your son!?!" asked Gohan.   
"That's the only possiblity,son....sorry," replied Goku. Vegeta turned away. This was what he hoped for. The child is gone. But why did he feel so sorry. He was free from Bulma. No child. No need to keep up the commitment. But something burned in him. This was HIS flesh and blood. This was HIS creation. THERE WAS NO WAY HE'S GONNA DROP OUT OF THIS NOW AND LET WHOEVER TAKE WHAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGED TO HIM!!!  
Vegeta grabbed Goku by the collar.   
"Vegeta....."  
"....WE'RE GOING SAIYAN HUNTING, KAKOROT....AND THE HEAD OF WHOEVER TOOK VEGETA!!!"  
"We are NOT going to name him Vegeta!!" screamed a now awaken and very pissed off Bulma from the other room as the two shot out through the roof along with Gohan, Krillan and Piccolo.  


Back in some scary Warehouse.......  
*WHAAAAAAA* screamed the infant as Freeza's third cousin twice removed held it.   
"Come-on, Gitchy Gitchy Go*.....OWWW!!!," he screamed as the baby bite his finger with its gummy mouth. "Okay, okay.... ummmm.... how about this?" he asked as he morphed into Pan-Chan from Dragonball GT. The baby took one look at it.   
*WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* it cried as struggled in Freeza TCTR's arms. "YOU DUMB ASS!!!! GET THE CHILD TO THE MACHINE IMMEDIATELY!!! I WANT OUT OF HERE.... NOW!!!!!" shouted Freeza.  
"Okay okay, fine," he replied as he placed the baby in the area and began to gook up wires. The baby giggled as it laid there.   
"Stupid tail. It keeps on getting in the way," he spoke to himself as he tries to push the hairy little tail aside. Freeza's third cousin twice removed placed a sacred gem that was kept in the family for generations in a little slot. Soon the baby began to glow and age.   
"Its... its working.... yes... I can feel my soul being pulled from this place of damnation," spoke Freeza as he began to glow below.   
"Bye Freeza. Don't forget to write!!" waved some of the members of the Ginyu force.   


"Heh heh, soon cousin Freezy will be here," replied Freeza's TCTR as the machine continued to glow. All of a sudden, the warehouse lights flickered out and the air conditioner burnt out. Sweat began to pour from his temples."Man, this is tough work. I need some air," he spoke to himself as he opened a window. The moon's glow gently shown as Freeza's Third cousin Twice Removed accomplished the tedious task.   


Up in the sky......  
"Hey Dad, how long do you think it will take for us to find Vegeta's son?" asked Gohan.   
"Well son, you got to understand that we got alot of ground to cover. And with the child's ki at a very low level right now, it could be days, months.... even ye**...."  
*GROWL!!!!!!*   
".....or at least until it morphed into a giant Oozaru," he replied as the giant ape grabbed him from behind.   
"DAD!!!!!" cried Gohan.  
"HA!! Already I can see him taking after my side," shouted Vegeta as the giant ape began to squeeze the life out of Goku.  
**_ "HEY!! GOKU, WHO'S THAT!?!" _** asked Piccolo. Goku turned his head down below.  
"Eh, I don't know. He looks alot like Freeza.... but he's kind've small....*GAH*" he screamed as the giant ape continued to squeeze him. Piccolo growled as he turned towards him and shot two eye beams at the giant ape's tail.   
"Oh man, is it running off?" asked Krillan.   
"Come on, we have to cut off his tail before he causes too much damage!!" cried Piccolo as the group chased after the Saiyan beast.   


In the hospital........  
"7... 6... 5.... 4... 3.... 2.... 1...." muttered Trunks as he laid on the bed.   
"Mr.Trunks, could you count backwards from a hundred again?"  
"But Doctor, that was my eight time."  
"*sigh* Nurse Winfrey, Give him another tank of sleeping gas," replied the doctor as the placed the mouth piece over his mouth again. "Come-on, lets go order another pizza."   
Trunks walked over towards the window. Why did he feel a large amount of ki over there? He had to find out.   


Back at the warehouse.......  
"*cough* Oh man, what happened?" asked Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed as he slid out of the wreckage.  
"YOU IDIOT!!!!! DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN A SAIYAN IS EXPOSED TO THE MOON THEY TURN INTO A GIANT MONKEY!?!!!!"  
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, no?"   
"GAH!!! No wonder mother never invited you to the family reunions..... no matter.... WHERE AM I!!! THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORLD!!!"  
"Well, I guess the transfer wasn't complete.... and only half of your soul is in the child.   
"HALF!?! DAMN IT WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!?! GO OUT THERE AND CATCH THAT FILTHY APE AND BRING HIM STRAIGHT HERE TO FINISH THE PROCESS!!!" screamed Freeza as one of the Ginyu Force walked up to him.   
"Sorry to hear that man. Here, have a puzzle block, Satan gave it to me and I thought you should have it," said Guido as he handed him the small multicolored box.   
"What the hell is this thing?"  
"A puzzle cube. All you have to do is put all the colors on one side." Freeza grabbed the tiny enigma and sat down. He then proceeded to turn and twist each side as the other.  


Back up above.....in some television station.......  
"People.... we are in trouble. We haven't had a decent news story in days now. Unless we can find something that will pull this station from the brink of closing down..... not only will tens of hundreds of good hearted americans will lose their jobs..... but Western City will lose a valuable resource to learn what is happening with the friends, countrymen, and fellow communities," spoke the boss as he bowed his head and held his hands back.   
"Sir, there's another giant ape attacking," spoke a copy boy.   
"Oh, no one cares about the giant ape terrorizing the city. That stuff is far too old and......"  
"SIR!!! YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR THIS!! CARSON DALY IS GOING OUT WITH SOME CHICK NAMED CECIL!!!"   
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND!! YOU ALL BETTER BE THE FIRST ONES THERE OR ITS YOUR JOB!!!" screamed the news editor as the giant ape walked by. The Z-Fighters floated towards the Oozaru.... Goku, could only think of one thing as the giant ape held him in his clutches.  
"Man I'm starving. HEY!!! HEY!!!!" screamed Goku.  
"What is it, Goku?" asked Krillan.   
"Could you all go and buy me a few dozen cheeseburgers and a large fry?" he asked as he took out his Gameboy and continued where he was.  
"Gee, I think we should be saving the city right now... oh well, they can wait. I'm sure they are use to giant apes walking around here by now. COME-ON GUYS!! OFF TO McDonalds!!!" cried Gohan as the group descended to the Golden Arches below. His hand reached for the door.  
**_ "GOHAN!!!!" _**   
"*gulp* ....yes... Pi-pi-piccolo?"  
"Your father is up there in the clutches of Vegeta's son. Do realize how precious time is right now!?!" Gohan sweated a bit then smiled.  
"I'm sorry, guys, I wasn't thinking. WE NEED TO GO TO DRIVE THROUGH!!!"  
**_ "You are learning Gohan-san. I will buy you a happy meal for your diligent thinking."_**   


Inside in McDonalds.....  
"Oh my GOD!!! They are--they are coming!!!" cried an employee.  
"QUICK!!! PUT OUT THE CLOSED SIGNS!!!"  
"Sir, we are 24 hour truck stop, sir."  
"Damn, those politicians. Forcing us to slave day and night so we can make them rich.... JENNIFER!!! ARE YOU??"  
"Yes sir, I have already laid out ninety-eight patties with a large fry cooking. We WILL MAKE THE 3 MINUTE TIME LIMIT!!!"  


*bing bing*  
"Thank you for McDonalds, would you like to try a combo today?" asked Megan in a sweet heavenly voice.  
*No thanks.I just want 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayonnaise and one large fry.*  
"I have 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayo, and a large Sprite?"  
*FRIES!!! I SAID FRIES YOU ZIT FACED BAKA!!! I AM THE GREAT PRINCE OF SAIYANS!!! HOW DARE YOU GET MY ORDER WRONG!!!!*  
"Okay 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayo, and a large FRY!!!"  
*Oh, and could you add a four piece chicken nugget happy meal?*  
"*cough cough sputter sputter*NO!!! How DARE THEY CHANGE THE ORDER!!!! How much time is left!!!"  
"40 seconds sir."  
"DAMN IT!!! HURRY UP WITH THOSE NUGGETS!! QUICKLY!!"  
"Sir your total comes to 105.23, please proceed to the window," spoke the manager as he grabbed the microphone from the employee.  
*...................*   
*click*  
"They're coming!! We only have fifteen seconds!!!" replied Megan as the workers handed her the food and she handed it to the manager.   
"I'VE GOT THE HAPPY MEAL!!!" screamed another employee as he tossed it to the manager. He breath a sigh of relief as he hands it to him with two seconds to spare.   
Gohan then looked inside.  
"Hey, where's the toy at?"   
"Uh oh. Looks like someone was late delivering our dinner. Hmmm, guess we get it for free.... again," grinned Vegeta as he snatched the money. The managers eyes turned a fiery red. The Z-Fighters ran for their lives as they were bombarded with ki blasts and a kamehameha.   
"OH MAN!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO OFF AND PISS OFF THE FAT GUY!!!" muttered Krillan.  
"PISS OFF!?! THAT WAS THE MAIN REASON HE WAS HIRED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!" replied Vegeta as they all flew back up the ape and to their surprise....  


*jiggggllly pufffff jigggllllllliiiiiiyyy pufffff* sung the little Gameboy as Vegeta's son held Goku while sitting down on some house with its feet wading in the city pool.  
"Well, well, looks like that thing actually has a use after all!" spoke Vegeta as he turned towards the tail.   
"Well, time to change you back to normal," said Krillan as he rose a hand and began to form a disk. Then, it hit him. A large ki blast appeared out of no where and slammed straight into him. The others turned to see a lizard like figure. Vegeta's mouth hung open.   
"It.... it can't be...." he murmured. The figured stepped out. His hand still was eclipsed with smoke from the blast.   
"....hello, you must be.... Vegeta..... Prince of the monkeys I presume?"   
**_ "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!"_** bellowed Piccolo as the others began to readied there energies.   
"I am Freeza's third cousin twice removed and that dirty ape up there, will soon be used as the host for Freeza's new body. The day that man made sushi of Cousin Freezy, the day that man sitting up wasting away precious hours on that silly toy was the day we knew that Freeza needed a stronger body..... a Saiyan. Vegeta would be too hard to control with his intelligent and strong mind. Gohan cannot be controlled because he is too strong willed. Goku....."  
"let me guess, because he's a Super Saiyan?"  
"...no, I had trouble finding enough activity in his brain to control with. But a little baby boy? That.... we can mold it like a piece of clay and call it our own. No memories to create fear. No love to dilute the senses, no guilt... the perfect assassin and future ruler of all the universe," he smirked.   
"Do you know what..... DID YOU JUST REALIZE THAT YOU JUST GAVE OUT YOUR WHOLE PLAN!?! No wonder the author didn't give you a name!!" Freeza's TCTR widen his eyes.   
"Well..... guess what, you'll-- have to go through me!!!" he said trying to sound gung ho. "But there is one thing I forgot to mention. If my powers can't beat you....." his face began metamorph, twisting into something more familiar.  
"Then I guess I'll have to change into someone who will.," smirked Freeza's TCTR/Goku as his hair turned a bright blond and his eyes glowed an emerald green.   


_ narrator: And now a commercial break from one of our sponsors....  
_

On a playground.......two girls with tank tops and short shorts sat on the cool green grass.  
Maron: Gee, I'm so tired of this Irwin action figures.  
Lunch: I know. All they are a hunk of cheap plastic.   
Maron: Don't they realize 'OUR' needs. You cannot dress them up, or nothing. Don't worry girls. That is all about to change with the new Bulma and Vegeta Barbie Dolls!!!  


Later.....  
Lunch: Oooooo, I LOVE combing Vegeta's hair.   
Maron: And with a dab of water, I can add eye shadow to Bulma.  
Lunch: And with water, 'I' can change Vegeta into a Super Saiyan.   
Maron: Look at all these accessories!!!   
Lunch: A dragon radar, dragonballs.... EVEN A GOKU PUNCHING BAG!!!!  
Lunch and Maron: THANKS ANNOUNCER!!!  
Announcer: Coming soon the pink shirt Vegeta and Second Base Bulma twin pack and the Gravity Room Playset!! When you press the button, it REALLY explodes!!!   


**(made by Mattel, each set sold separately)**  


and now back to the 9 Months Saga  


Freeza's TCTR/Goku stood there. He smirked as the familiar gold aurora surrounded him. There was only one thing on Goku's mind right now as he stood there inside Vegeta's son's hand.  
"OWWW, OKAY OKAY I'LL FEED YOU ANOTHER CHEESEBURGER!!" he yelped as he dug into the bag, tore off the wrapper and chucked it inside its mouth. He had to keep it busy, long enough for them to defeat Freeza's TCTR. From the way he's sitting, he couldn't really cut off his tail. All he can do is wait and watch the others take him out.  


Meanwhile.... down below......  
"You think we can take him?" asked Krillan.   
"I don't care if he has the power of Goku. With someone who's only called 'Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed'? We're gonna pound the living tar out of him!!" growled Piccolo as he charged forward towards him. Freeza's TCTR/Goku smirked as he merely twisted and turn with each punch, dodging them with the ease. Freeza's TCTR/Goku ducked a punch and then connected it with an uppercut into Piccolo's jaw. Blood dripped a bit from his mouth as Gohan ran up towards him and started a blur of kicks. Freeza's TCTR/Goku responded by taking the back of his forearms and blocked his face.   
All of a sudden Krillan jumped in and started fighting from the other side. Freeza's TCTR/Goku snarled as he let loose a burst of energy that slammed Krillan into a wall and Gohan towards the ground. Goku gasped as his eyes narrowed. He clenched his fists from the sight as he watched Freeza's TCTR/Goku pick up Gohan and slam repeatedly against the wall.   
"What's the matter? Can Freeza's little cousin can't take on anyone but a pathetic little boy? Why don't you fight a REAL Saiyan," spoke Vegeta as he folded his arms across his chest. Freeza's TCTR/Goku smiled as he dropped Gohan.   
"Why do you say that? You yourself was killed by my cousin, who in turn was annihilated by Goku. Do you really think you can challenge me?" he asked as Krillan and Piccolo got up in a ready stanza. Vegeta glared at the two. They looked at each other and backed off of Freeza's TCTR/Goku. "So be it."   
Vegeta grinned as he leaped forward and charged forward towards him. Freeza's TCTR/Goku readied his fists as Vegeta came closer and closer.... then vanishes?  
*BOOM* his fists went as he reappeared behind him and slammed it against his back. Vegeta then connects it with a knee jab into the stomach flinging him in the sky. His breath stifled a bit as Vegeta flew above him and maniacally bombards him with his machine gun ki blasts. Freeza's TCTR/Goku slammed into the ground. He lazily pulled himself only to get a torpedo kick in the spine.   
"Hmmph, just what I thought. Don't think I've never heard of you, I even know your real name. I also know what race you're a hybrid of. And I know that it doesn't matter who you change into, you'll still be the same power level.... in fact even lesser considering it takes up quite a bit of energy to change in the first place. See you in the next demens***" all of a sudden a woman in a nurse's out fit comes forth and sinks her high heel into his chest. Her body turned and roundhouse him in the face. Vegeta clutched his chest for a second as the woman bent down and then slammed her foot at his jaw.   
"Jelly Bean!!! My LOVE!!!" cried Freeza's TCTR as the nurse grabbed Vegeta into a headlock and slammed him into the concrete below them. Vegeta looked up at the two as Freeza's TCTR/Goku placed an arm around the nurse. "Is she not beautiful? Dr. Gero made her for me, me, and only m***"  
"GOKU!?!! HOW DARE YOU GO OFF WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!!" shouted Chi Chi as she mysteriously appears out of the middle of nowhere.   
"Uh oh," he muttered, totally forgetting to change back to his original image. Chi Chi ran and grabbed the android by the hair.   
"THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY MAN, B****!!!" she cried as she pimped slapped her head. "I'll make sure to open a good solid can of whup a** on muter-f***** body," she cried as she tossed her in the same pool that the Oozaru's feet was in. All of a sudden, her body short circuited, frying the Oozaru's body a little. Its eyes turned a blood red as it rose up and started its carnage once more.   
"Oh MAN; now I gotta get out of here so I cut the tail," Goku muttered to himself as he desperately tries to pull himself free. All of a sudden, the Oozaru started regenerating. His hair began to disappear as it grew shorter and shorter until it was once more a newborn child. Goku carefully picked him up. He then removed his blue shirt to use as a blanket to hold him in. Goku turned behind him and saw the giant tail, laying there, limp as a cold dead corpse and standing beside it, was Trunks, his sword bloodied quite a bit.  
"I was wondering where you were at. Hey wait a second, why did it take you so long?"  
"Eh, I had to go get me something to eat McDonalds."  


Back at the other area........  
Vegeta smirked as he sat up, clutching the wound that the android caused with her high heels. "LOOKS LIKE MR. I'M SO TOUGH BECAUSE I'M FREEZA'S THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED ISN'T SO TOUGH ANYMORE!! Pitiful. I would've expected better to come. Guess I was wrong," he mocked as he placed his hand on his cheek and nodded his head. Freeza's TCTR/Goku growled as he ran forwards and slammed right into Vegeta. Vegeta then followed through with a jab to the jaw. The two fighters then backed off.   
Freeza's TCTR/Goku formed his hand into a clam to the side.   
**

##### "KAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAA-MAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

** he screamed. Vegeta prepared to block..... then realized nothing was coming at him.  


Down in hell......  
"YOU DORK!!!! ITS KamehaMEha!!! EVEN I KNOW THAT AND I DON'T EVEN USE THAT ATTACK!!!!!!" shouted Freeza as he worked the puzzle cube. "GAH!! Just when I had all the red and greens, I ended up needing to place the whites.... NO WONDER THIS STUPID THING GOT PUT DOWN HERE!!!" he grumbled.  


Up above....  
"....oh..... Um well then.... **

#####   
KAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEE-"

#### "HA!!!"

** shouted a voice as a large ball of energy slammed into Freeza's TCTR/Goku. His body rolled and rolled, morphing back into its original state. Goku stood there as smoke blew from his hands.   
Freeza's TCTR sneered but then widen his eyes. In Chi Chi's hands was the newborn.   
"....the child..... GIVE IT TO ME!!!" he screamed as he leaped to his feet.   
"I think not, why should we?" asked Goku as Vegeta slowly got up. Freeza's TCTR smirked; then he started to laugh!?!  
"Heh heh, yes, I admit it. I CAN be a little naive at times, and I do make silly mistakes. But I can guarantee you, I am not as stupid as I look..... take a look over there. My oh my, what does it look like? A bomb of course. I don't have the power my Cousin Freezy has to make a Dama to blow this planet up. SO I MADE A SIMULATOR INSTEAD!!! But..... if you care about this planet..... I COULD deactivate it in exchange for the child." He then turned towards the Prince of Saiyans. "Vegeta, here is your chance. I've been watching you and your mate for the last 9 months now. You wanted out, this is the way. No guilt over no one taking care of him. He won't be lonely. He'll be treated like a Prince just like you once were."  
"Fuck off, Freeza's whatever the hell you are. I am NOT selling his soul to him like I did with mine."  
"Then I hope you enjoy going out..... with a big bang!!" he laughed as everyone crowded around the bomb.   
"Oh god, why couldn't King Kai have trained me to do stuff like this!?!" whimpered Goku as he began to bite his nails.  
"What if we threw it in the sky?" asked Krillan.  
**_ "No good, the shockwave alone would take out Western City,"_** muttered Piccolo.   
"How much time do we have?"asked Vegeta.  
"uuuhhh, it says 10 minutes!!"  
"NOOOOOOOO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!" screamed Krillan as he tucked his head between his knees.  
"I think I can deactivate it," spoke a voice.   
"TRUNKS!!YOU'RE HERE!!!!" said Goku. Trunks slapped himself.  
"...so much for keeping secrets....."  
"Can you really solve it?"   
"Yeah, my mom had me take a course in it in high school. She figured it would come in handy someday," he replied as he knelt down. "Okay, lets see here.....wow... a Mark989Semi-copper-Modulm TNT device. Did you realize this thing has the capacity of atomizing from here to Kentucky?"   
"JUST HURRY UP AND DEACTIVATE THE BLASTED THING ALREADY!! WE ONLY HAVE.... 8 MINUTES!!!" screamed Vegeta as he started wring his neck. The others held him back as Trunks went back to his work. His hands hovered over and then removed the control panel. 13 different collared wires surrounded the timer. His hand pulled out one wire.... the clock stopped.  
"YEAH, WAY TO GO,TRUNKS!!" smiled Gohan as Goku slapped him on the back.   
"Wait, I'm not done, that only temporarily shuts the clock down so I can begin the real work," he said as he rubbed his back.  
"Well why are you just sitting there?"Trunks leaned forward. He squinted his eyes. His hands shook.   
"Guys, I can't see; I think Goku knocked my contact lens out and they're somewhere on the ground."  
The others screamed as they frantically searched the ground........ *CRACK*  
**_ "Problem,"_** muttered Piccolo as he looked at the back of his foot.  
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" cried Gohan.  
"Don't worry, guys, I have a little bit of telepathy. I CAN DISARM THE BOMB!!!" cried Goku. Everyone looked at each other.  
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" screamed Gohan.  
"Oh son, don't you have confidence in me?" asked Goku.   
".....uh....no."  
Trunks closed his eyes. Goku shut his as well as he reached out into the panel.   
*can you feel the meta tap?*  
*The thing that's the shape of a donut?*  
*That's it. Pry it off. But don't allow any of the metal parts to touch the sides of the bomb.*  
*Okay*  
"Guys, the clock is starting..... AT ONE MINUTE TO GO!!!" screamed Krillan.  
"Don't worry Krillan, Trunks says we are almost there."  
*Okay Goku, there are three wires, one will detonate the bomb at the start, one will reduce time to ten seconds, the other will shut it down completely*   
*I hear you Trunks. Which wire do I pull?.... Trunks....... Trunks you there?*  
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, don't worry doc, I'll count backwards from a hundred again. 99...98....*yawn*97..... 96.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"   
"Great, just great, NOW the sleeping gas takes effect!!" complained Vegeta.  
"LOOK, Trunks said that one of the wires will shut it off.... but which one?"muttered Goku.   
"Maybe its the red one, I mean red is my favorite colour," said Chi Chi.  
"I think its the blue one," spoke Krillan.   
"What do you think,Goku?" asked Piccolo. Goku stared at the wires. His hand slowly motioned towards it and jerked the red one.  
*10 seconds until detonation*  
"Whoops...."  
"YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS THE RED ONE!?!"   
"....uh... I guessed." Vegeta slapped himself.   


Narrator: Goku turned his head towards the wiring. He knew the world was in his hands. He knew that everything that lived on Earth was at stake!!What brilliant strategy has this Super Saiyan come up with now?  


"Enie menie mighty moe, catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers let him go, enie menie mighty ..... MOE!!" he shouted as he reached for the yellow wire.   
**_ "Wait!"_** Piccolo exclaimed.   
"Huh?" Goku asked as he looked up.  
**_ "Why not ask the narrator?"_** He asked as he looked up.  
"Hey, Narrator! Tell us! Which wire should Kakorot cut!"  


Narrator :Look, I can't tell you which wire it is.  


"Why not?" whined Goku .  
"Adds suspense. Besides, you guys are the heroes. You guys should figure it out. Goku is a very smart guy after all." The others glanced at each other and then at Goku.   
"Awww... thanks!" Goku gushed as he snagged the yellow wire.  


Narrator: All of a sudden, a blast errupted.Energy began to send energy all around, atomizing all that it touched...... and soon... the world was no mor***  
"WRONG SCRIPT!!!!" cried Vegeta.  


Narrator: Oh, sorry. Hmmm, I'll be darn, they are still alive!!!  
Chi Chi walked over and handed Vegeta his newborn son. It felt so strange at first. Holding something far weaker then his own.   
".....my...child...." he muttered. He never realized how good it felt to hold something so helpless as this... and the thoughts that he could create it into a fine warrior.   


Goku looked around as he started scratching his head.  
"Goku, what are you look for?" asked Krillan.   
"Its just that.... where did Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed and his android go?"  
"Hmph, they probably ran away. That's what separates him from the real Freeza. Freeza will take care of things right here and right now. His cousin seems to hide and wait for opportunity to strike. With him as a shape shifter and that nurse looking like just another ordinary girl, I doubt will be able to find them. But they can't hide forever," spoke Piccolo as they turned towards Vegeta as he held his son. For the first time. Not even caring about seeking and destroying the enemy.  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


"And so that was how you were born. Bulma wanted to name you after that purple haired brat from the future. Bah, women. Oh well, she said I get to name the next one. I'll make sure to pick something out that won't be as vulgar as 'Trunks'. I did however get Vegeta as your middle name. It ain't much, but the Vegeta name lives on. MWHA HA HA HA... eh, I better not laugh so hard. God that story was long. If I were to wake you up now, I'll have to tell the whole thing over again. Why am I talking to you? You are only a year old and can barely walk; can't even speak either."   


Goku: HEY VEGETA!! COME QUICK!! ITS EVOLVING!!!!  


"*sigh*. Now I know, because I can't find anything that's smarter then a grapefruit anymore here on this planet. Well, I gotta go now. Its March 12. Time for me to send some Androids to the scrap yard. Ahhh, I haven't had a glorious fight since Namek. Well...... goodnight."  


Vegeta slowly exited the nursery room. He enjoyed going in there. Gives him a chance to brag about his glory and such,while his child would smile and giggle.   


Trunks slowly opened his eyes as he laid there.  
_"...dad-dy..."_ it whispered as it slowly closed its eyes and cuddled the warm blanket and the small brown teddy bear.   


The End......   


A small lizard like figure watched from a window. A smile curled in his lips as his three prong hand pressed against the glass.  


...... or is it?  


CAST OF CHARACTERS  
  
** Vegeta- **Hugh Jackman  
  
** Bulma- ** Niki Tyler   
  
** Goku- ** Kraig Kilborn  
  
** Chi Chi- ** Natalie Portman  
  
** Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed-** Ray Park  
  
** Freeza- ** Gwen Stefani   
  
** Gohan-** Miko Hughes  
  
** Piccolo- ** Mel Gibson  
  
** Krillan-** Dean Cain  
  
** Yamcha- ** Chris O'Donnell  
  
** Tien-** Ken Wahl  
  
** Chowzu-** Leonardo Di Caprio  
  
** Master Roshi- ** Mike Myers  
  
** Murai Trunks- ** James Van Der Beek  
  
** Baby Trunks-** my next door neighbor's son  
  
** Dr.Gero- ** Sean Connery  
  
** Jelly Bean-** Topaz989  
  
** Dr.Briefs- ** George Perez  
  
** Mrs.Briefs- ** Alicia Silverstone  
  
** Nameks-**   
  
Brian  
  
Nick  
  
Kevin  
  
Howie   
  
AJ  
  
** Nurses-** Britney Spears  
  
Christina Aguilera  
  
Mandy Moore  
  
Jessica Simpson  
  
** Kami-** Leonard Nimoy  
  
** Mr.Popo- ** Ricky Martin  
  
** Narrarator-** Chris Sabat  
  


_ Brought to you by FUNimation. Quality Anime at its best._  



End file.
